One more year. I can do this.
In less than two weeks I start my senior year of high school, and honestly, I am so ready. High school has been, well, to put it in a nice way, hell. The first day of senior year will be the first day I start my countdown till I graduate. Actually, from today, I have 289 days until I graduate and can start my journey out of Oregon.
Ever since middle school, it has been my goal to get the heck out of Oregon. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. I know Oregon is beautiful and has many perfectly good colleges that are far enough away from “home,” but my purpose of getting out of Oregon is to get away from the people. To start over. To see the rest of the world outside of the four boring cities I travel through every day.. Literally Boring, you know, like the city right outside of Damascus?
So to answer your question: yes, I know out-of-state tuition is expensive, but I’m ready for bigger and better things and the only way I can do so is if I get the hell out of Oregon. So if that means racking up student loans and working day and night to find the right scholarships, then I better get started now.
Three years ago, I fell in love…. With the East Coast. When I went to visit my aunt in Connecticut, I instantly knew that the East Coast was the place for me. It was so far away from all the drama I had waiting for me to come back to.
One of the quotes I will always remember is from “Looking For Alaska,” by John Green. Pudge is asking Alaska why she never goes home for vacations and to this day, her response still gets me….
“I’m just scared of ghosts Pudge, and home is filled with them.”
John Green, you creative genius.
With that being said, “home” for me also has many “ghosts.” Just like in “The Fault In Our Stars,” ghosts is a metaphor, just as cigarettes are. Ghosts for me are the bad memories, and honestly, I have plenty. I’m ready to leave all of the bad memories behind and have the time of my life exploring the world, and continuing to find who I truly am.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had plenty of good memories in Oregon and I will miss my family more than anything, but other than family and the few friends that actually talk to me on a daily basis and care about me, I am more than ready to get the heck out of here.
I truly believe that you cannot find who you truly are until you move away from home and start over. Home is where you can just add people to your friend list, but away is like making your first friend all over again.
I am more than ready to pack my bags and move to the East Coast, let’s just hope I get accepted… Like Trina in Victorious, Chicago to her, is the East Coast to me. Wish me luck in my journey to the East Coast, maybe I’ll be back someday, but for now, I am counting down the minutes of the 289 days I have left here in Oregon.
