You can't be angry at someone for not loving you or wanting to be with you, but you can be angry at someone for not caring enough about you to just say it. You disrespect yourself when you allow a man to continue to break your heart.
This is hard to realize when things are good and you think he is the perfect guy for you. You get so caught up in the first few months, everything is going as you planned and you 're thinking you have finally found the one to treat you like you have always dreamed. At some point you find yourself thinking about those times instead of the present, because he's different. You notice the short phone calls, no more "baby" or "beautiful", he waits till an hour before bed to talk to you, he starts opening messages or snaps and leaving you on read, there isn't much conversation and there aren't any more fun date nights. You realize you were the only one to acknowledge your feelings, and admit you wanted to take it serious while he needed more time or "didn't really know you". Honey, if he doesn't know you well enough to date you and be committed to just you, but he knows you enough to have sex with you, he doesn't respect your heart.
Listen, men have feelings to and they deserve to be loved the way they have always wanted a woman to love them. However, if a man really loves you then he will get ready. Men naturally pursue; they were created to pursue women's hearts and to be your protector as well as your provider. Don't think I am going off on some sexist rant, I ain't, but what I am saying is that it is a mans natural instinct to pursue what he wants and he will be prepared for what it really is he really wants. So if he isn't "ready", okay that is fine but if he isn't trying to get ready or become what you need, sweet girl he doesn't care. Let me be blunt with you because I ignored so many red flags and so much repeated advice, myself:
- If he can go the whole day without hearing your voice or talking to you; whether that is to hear about your day or just to make sure you are okay, but he can be on Snapchat or Instagram …he doesn't really care.
- If his response to you asking for more communication and affection is "this is just how I am and I am not changing"...he doesn't really care.
-If he isn't trying to get to know you deeper and working to understand the real you, if he doesn't want to have serious talks or bring up anything about becoming officially committed...he doesn't care.
-If he is defensive anytime you question his commitment...he doesn't really care.
-If he makes you worry about other girls and his real intentions...he doesn't really care.
Please remember this is not a "I hate men" post, because it truly isn't. I think it is extremely hard for men to open up now a days just because of how we view masculinity. I think it can take some men longer than others to really open up and trust you, this doesn't necessarily apply to those men. Those men who really do want to open up and can't because they are struggling to but they're making efforts to show you they care, and that you matter to them; they are good, true men. That is the whole point of this post. If a man truly cared, he would listen to your concerns or your needs and would try to execute them. It is all about effort. Not spending tons of money on you or taking you out to eat. It's calling you beautiful randomly in the middle of conversation, or texting you goodnight, it's buying you flowers on a random day because he wants you to feel special, working to learn more about your heart. Please understand, it's not you. You do not have to apologize for needing reassurance or extra forms of affection or small tokens of love. If you are coming from a genuine place of wanting love, and this is how you need it; you are not a bad person and you are not too much. If a BOY can't change his behavior even though he claims he "wants to be with you and you are what he wants", a MAN will be waiting to give you more than you thought you needed.
You shouldn't have to tell someone how you need to be loved, if someone wants to be with you they will be. This isn't rocket science, if he wanted to he would. So sis, don't be scrolling through his Instagram and checking his Snap score, he isn't checking yours. Let him throw it away, you will hurt but you will at least have the assurance that you did everything you could and you cared for him as much as you possibly could. If he didn't fight to keep you, he isn't for you. Move on, you are the one someone is praying for and begging God to bring you to them. Do not settle for "what if's" and "i don't know". You deserve someone who is gonna love you consistently and hard. One day he will realize what he had, he will realize what a treasure he missed out on. Don't find gratitude in this, this will just weigh you down. Find gratitude in knowing you are free and you are one less boy away from your man.
You are hurting now, you are angry and you are questioning why he doesn't care enough to fight. Girl, don't ever find yourself begging a man to love or fight for you. Know you are loved by the One who created the stars and the moon, and saw you to be just as important for His plan. Know the love you've been shown and the love you are prepared to give, just wait for your time.
You are worthy. A great man will know that and never make you feel less than.