Ah, the smell of roses not being delivered to you; the obnoxious and dramatic "I'm lonely" posts where each single teenage drama queen tries to outdo the other with the most clever post about how they have no one to share the day with. The one and only day where each girl you encounter slowly rubs it in your face that her steak might have been classier and more expensive than your toast with water for dinner. Cheers to you, girly.

Roses are red, and so is the blood bath Valentine's Day brings. (Sorry, I'm not good at poetic justice.)

I don't hate Valentines Day because it's my ex's birthday, I don't hate it because I'm pessimistic and like to argue the basis of everyone's relationships; I truthfully don't hate Valentine's Day much at all, unlike the rest of you secret romantics. But I do get a huge kick out of it. Picture me in a rocking chair, scrolling through each Instagram post as I roll my eyes back to my grave and gag myself with a spoon. Okay, that was a tad dramatic, but so is everything else you'll see posted about the holiday of love, so I wanted to be the first to do so.

I don't hate the commercialized holiday or overpriced flowers. But it seems everyone around me does.

For the singles:

Stop being so melodramatic and pull yourself together. Contrary to popular belief, you aren't the only single person left on the planet. Sorry to break it to you, but the grinchy singles on Valentine's Day may have a close tie with the ones actually in a relationship.

Treat yourself; go buy the sale-priced candy. But if I hear a groan from Australia, I'll drop kick all the heart-shaped boxes of candy to your door and make you appreciate the holiday. No pity parties allowed here, sweetie.

For the ones in a relationship:

You love birds, I'm sure you're happy and have been planning your sappy Instagram post for weeks. Can't wait to see all the comments you get on those. Also, be sure to google Taylor Swift quotes for a killer caption that'll send all your followers into tears.

You know, as much as everyone hates the ones in a relationship on Valentine's day, we do look forward to the pictures, not going to lie (or that could just be me, I don't know).

Don't let the single Grinches get you down! Own the expensive and overrated dinner you just paid for, the picture you had the random person take, the chocolates, the flowers; own it.

You made it, kids, because Cupid seemed to shoot you with his arrow and actually let you make it. Congratulations, celebrate.

So please, for me. I'm actually on my knees begging. Not really I'm lying in bed, but hypothetically I'm on my knees begging you not to be everyones worst nightmare on Valentines Day.