After much observation in my classes, I have come to identify the repertoire of annoying college students. Here is a small list of these common college animals that we all love to hate.
The try-hard dresser
The kid that always gets dressed up for class. I will never understand why anyone would ever show up to econ 103 or math 243 with a tie, tucked in shirt and dress pants. What is the occasion? Like, chill man, this is college, this is not the real world. If i show up unshowered with no shirt and sweatpants tied around my waist, that’s also acceptable college attire. These students not impressing anyone, although they do inspire me [to keep my condescending eye game strong] everyday.
The clueless
The kid that always asks a million questions. These students waste so much time asking the dumbest, most useless questions: “How do I do this? Can you explain that again?” Just when everyone thought the professor was clear. In college, you can be stupid, but please do it quietly. I have a couple of questions for these students: how? How are they in college? How have they made it this far? Why isn’t natural selection doing it’s job?
The non-showerer
That kid that always smells. These little punks come in all different shapes, sizes, and varieties. Smell does NOT discriminate on looks. My fifty minute class just became a fifty thousand minute class thanks to the student sitting next to me who couldn’t spend five minutes in the shower this morning. When i’m in class, i don’t want to smell taco bar farts, post cardio sessions, body odor or onion breath. I don’t understand how these students just don’t understand that??
The activist
The student that won’t shut up about a certain cause. It’s good to be passionate about social issues, but there is a time and a place for everything and my spanish class is not it. I don’t want to hear about their little agendas while I’m in the midst of learning the imperfect subjunctive. Like, talk about other things, get a personality, tell a joke.
The eater
The kid that is always eating in class. These little beans have an eight course meal hidden in their backpacks. I just want to know how that subway sandwich, coffee, chips and pasta fit in there with all those textbooks? They also eat like ravaged animals throughout the entire lecture, have they not learned proper etiquette? Also, the worst part about this type of student is that they never share, like wth I’m sitting next to them and they think I don’t want any gummy bears?? Why they gotta make my tummy grumble like that??
The sleeper
The kid that always sleeps in class. I want to sleep in every single class of mine, but I don’t because it is disrespectful to the professor and it’s awkward for the other students. I always have so many questions for these nuggets too: Do they not have beds at home? Are the desks really more comfortable? Then I also have questions for myself: am I supposed to wake them up? Do I leave them there? Please enlighten me.
The Professor-corrector
Self-explanatory. No one is impressed with these little know-it-alls. Not a single person has ever been “damn karen, the way you argued with the professor was so cool.” There is a right way of questioning what a professor says in class but 99.99999% of the time these students do it the wrong way and come off as rude, aggressive and impertinent. I wish they’d know their place and take a seat.
Honorable Mentions: The frat/sorority students: stop talking about greek life, it doesn't make you cooler. The random 50-year olds: why are you in my classroom?? The wanna-be hipsters: stop talking about your obscure music, your french pressed coffee is getting cold.
While annoying, I can't be too mad with these students because they help to make my whole college experience...interesting, to say the least. (Although maddening, loathsome and frustrating are accurate words too).
On a side note, if you’ve never met any of these college students, congratulations you are one/all of them.
