I remember feeling like I wasn’t good enough for the first time when I was in elementary school. It was on the playground and a bunch of the girls was playing ‘house’ on the equipment during recess. As I approached, one of the girls told me, “Sorry, we have enough people playing.” I was confused I suppose, as to why they wouldn’t let me join.

Although it was so long ago I definitely remember feeling hurt and I get that rejected gnaw in my belly even today. I tried to shake it off, act cool and went to participate in four square or something, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was I felt left out and maybe she didn't realize it or mean to, but that girl was the one who made me feel less than and like a castoff. The unfortunate thing is that this is the first time I remember feeling this way, but it certainly was not the last.

Freshman year I was best friends with this girl that was new to school. I took her under my wing and decided we would be best friends throughout high school. After a few months, we started to fall away from each other and I decided it was probably just natural. We were definitely out of the “best friend honeymoon” phase.

One weekend my mom told me that I should text her and see what she was up to. That night she invited me over for a sleepover and it was so fun! Our friendship seemed strong once again. We were eating ice cream, curling each other’s hair, and taking countless selfies (I know, cut me some slack, I was 14 at the time).

She got on Snapchat and we were sending photos to all of our friends. But, every time we took one together, she would hit the X on the top of the screen and retake one of herself.

My stomach got that same tight gnawing feeling! Like all of a sudden, I wasn’t good enough. I worked up the courage to ask, “Why can’t I be in any of those photos?” She looked at me all serious and then got a small grin that made my stomach a little less tight. “Sophie, I’ve started hanging out with the more popular kids and I don’t mean to be hurtful but we talk about you…”

The gnawing in my stomach went away and was replaced by an immediate need to throw up on her perfect, pink comforter. Tears filled my eyes. “and I can’t let them know I hang out with you or they won’t want to be my friend. You understand?”

NO! I didn't understand, and most of all I didn’t understand why I was still sitting there in silence wondering if I should stay. I quietly without words started to pack my bag up and walk to her door. “You don’t have to leave, we can still be friends, just don’t tell anybody.” Somehow I was able to painfully find the words, “that’s okay, I think I want to go home.”

Around 1 o’clock in the morning, I remember my dad pulling up to the step I was sitting on and helping me put my bag in the car. I was crying again; he hugged me and said he loved me, but nothing could heal this wound. Why are girls like this, and why would I let her or anybody make me feel that way?

Growing up my mom would tell me, “Oh she is just jealous of you” when I would tell her about the mean girls at school. She would say that they were rude to me out of spite because I was prettier, smarter, more popular, but that just wasn’t the case. I mean how many of your moms have told you the same thing? They wanted to protect us from all the harsh words and evil acts that other girls were capable of.

My little sister told me last weekend about the girls at her school and how they all hung out without her...right after talking about hanging out in front of her. They sent her pictures over Snapchat and texted her, throwing it in her face and making sure that she fully understood that she was the only girl in the group being left out.

She has told me how a girl at school said that if she was friends with another girl then she couldn’t hang out with them anymore. This girl actually told her to choose her, or else! When did it become a problem to be friends with everybody?

My older sister got the position of cheer captain senior year of high school and we were all so proud, she worked so hard for it and was so dedicated. As captain, she got to be at the top of the pyramid and she was good at flying so it made sense. One day after my cross country practice, I overheard some cheerleaders calling her fat and saying that they hated having to lift her.

I think it took every fiber of my being not to punch that girl standing in the athletic hallway. Not just because she was my sister and is the farthest thing from fat, but you respect your captain! No, you respect people! When did girls decide that knocking each other down instead of building each other up was okay?

Can you imagine if we girls used the time and energy that we spend tearing each other down, and instead used it to build each other up? Girls, we would be a force to be reckoned with! I dare say we could run the world!

Last year, I was hanging out at my good friend’s fraternity house with a group of people. One of the others guys walked into the room with some of his friends and he was introducing us to all his guests. There was a girl standing in front of me with this look on her face, and again I felt sick to my stomach as she was staring right at me with a look of disgust! I looked down and I was wearing the equivalent of pajama pants, a hoodie and no make-up on my face.

I just knew that she was about to say something about my lack of---uhhhh---personal interest. She was wearing the type of outfit I would try to put together and buy online only for it to get to me and not look good on. She had this short brown hair that seemed to be only something she could pull off, and make up all done up perfectly.

The moment I dreaded was here and she reached out to shake my hand, “It’s nice to meet you.” She pulled her hand away and smiled at me. “You’re so beautiful,”…….wait what… “Like such a natural beauty, you’re so lucky.” I stood there in shock for a moment and then couldn’t contain the laughter that flew out of me. She was joking, right? And why was I laughing at a compliment? I said thank you, but how sad is it that I doubted if she meant it or not.

From a young age, girls knock each other down and make one another feel less than. If we are confident with ourselves then girls make us feel cocky or self-absorbed.

If we are insecure, girls use those insecurities to make us feel worse. We are all on a team that should be building one another up. We were all created beautifully and uniquely. That day I decided I was beautiful, a ‘natural beauty’.

And to the girls that I have ever made feel less than, I’m truly sorry. To the girl that made me feel beautiful just as I was, thank you for changing my life forever.