The end of the semester for all college students leads to two different emotions:
1. Excitement because it's the end of the semester and it means time to sleep and breathe.
2. Angst because final grades are going to be coming out.
Sure, there are those students who know they did amazing over the semester and they know their grades are going to be spectacular. Other students, like myself, always end the semester with a bit of caution. Even though I work hard over the semester, I never truly know how I've done in classes over the semester and final grades always heighten my anxiety.
Of course, when I do get my grades, the good ones make me super happy, excited and accomplished. But it's the other grades, the ones that are less than stellar (even though low Bs or high Cs aren't too bad) are the ones that get me down. For me, the less than perfect grades always, always manage to ruin my mood. Even if the worst grade I get is a B, I feel as though I haven't accomplished anything. Law school, the voice in my head says, isn't going to accept anyone with a B or a C.
And I don't think I'm alone in this. I think many college students have this moment in their life where they feel that their grades and their GPA define everything about them. After all, we're told from the moment we step into our high school that we need to have a good GPA to get scholarships and acceptance letters into colleges (standardized tests are another ballgame altogether). In college it's the same idea: to get a job, employers will look at what you did in college, including your GPA.
But what I've been trying to convince myself for the past few weeks is that I'm more than my GPA and grades. I'm more than that A or that B or even that C. That number doesn't define who I am or what I'm capable of. For me personally, the battle with anxiety and depression has really impacted how I handle my life. I never accepted I had anxiety or depression in high school and it really hurt me my freshman year. I made many mistakes when it came to my classes that I'm still paying for today, but that doesn't mean I'm any less capable of accomplishing anything I want.
That's what I want to stress in this piece. No matter what you're GPA is (unless it's a GPA you're proud of!), it doesn't mean you can't do whatever you want in your life. For me, it was understanding that I had more capabilities and skills than the numbers showed anyone, whether that be people in law school or my dad.
Be proud of whatever you've accomplished. You are more than your grades. You're capable of doing everything and anything you've ever wanted to do. Whenever I get my grades, good or bad, I always like to think like 5-year-old Akchita because she always believed that she could do anything she wanted to and nothing was going to stop that. So, maybe it wouldn't hurt to think like that when grades come in.
