It irritates me when girls seek their value and worth from the love of a man. I see girls thanking their boyfriends for helping them find their self worth and it breaks my heart. A man should never define who you are; you should know what makes you who you are without needing a man to validate those thoughts. Yes, I have a boyfriend, and no, he does not define who I am.

I adore my boyfriend, I think he is the most fantastic human on the earth. He teaches me so much about Jesus and unconditional love. He is patient and his first reaction is always forgiveness, never anger. He truly is spectacular and I hope to be his wife someday. Despite him having all of the best qualities, his love and affection do not define who I am. I am more than just his girlfriend.

I advise any girl who is thinking of getting in a relationship to truly evaluate why you want to date this person. Is it because they make you feel valued or is it because you think you are valuable because of their affection? Do you know who you are without this person? Do you know you are so incredible and beautiful not just because they say you are? You should know who you are long before you decide to date someone.

Without my boyfriend I am: a dancer, an artist, a writer, a health advocate, a student, a youth leader, a friend, a daughter, a big sister and a little sister, a puppy mamma, a mentor, and so much more. With my boyfriend, I am still all of those things, nothing less. The title “girlfriend” does not make me feel worth. Yeah, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy but that’s because my boyfriend is a pretty cool guy--not because he defines me.

How do you go about defining yourself? What makes you happy? Do you love to dance? Sing? Draw? Maybe you enjoy hiking or rock climbing. These are all things that make you unique and valuable. I challenge you to also begin to see your own beauty. Stand in front of a mirror and say out loud ten things you love about yourself. You’ll find that when you do this, you’ll begin to walk with your head a little higher and you will have no doubt about what makes you, you.

While your significant other shouldn't define you, they should: show you grace, show you patience, feed you yummy food, hold your hand, kiss your forehead, show you kindness, do random thoughtful things for you and they should be your favorite human. Your boyfriend should be your very best friend.

If you feel like you would lose your identity if you lost your significant other, you might want to reevaluate where your identity comes from. Just remember: you are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, and talented enough to define who you are with or without a boyfriend.