Simply scrolling through a timeline or checking through your friend's most recently updated posts will lead most of us to various commentary on the state or lack thereof various relationships, including details of why they fall apart. Even in the age of situationships, it seems that most people maintain the quintessential idea of their "one true love." This may be the person who sticks by them "through it all" (aka the partner-inflicted turmoil of emotional abuse and mistreatment), the person who "truly makes them happy" (where do you find this perpetual fountain of bliss), or the person who is simply "meant for them."
It is easy to see that there is not always much logic when it comes to the basis of our "love" interactions. It's just something you know. We rely on the influence of media, religion, and family examples to give us the lines by which to define our image of love, yet the picture is still quite hazy. One detail that remains consistent in many of the images that I see is the stroke of monogamy. At some point in life, there should be a single, steady partner that we should settle down with.
We're constantly exposed to examples of a two-parent household, a one on one couple, the classic one plus one still equals one because our fragmented hearts seem to mysteriously meld together in the marvelous combustion of Love. Unfortunately, we all know too well, that this love is not without pain. Frequently this love is the direct imposer of heartbreak. While many people list romantic love as a source of true fulfillment, it seems that it can also be the root of long-lasting pain and trauma. Many people find their myth of monogamy crushed by the intrusion of the Other; that is the unexpected "intruder" upon the love of their relationship.
The notion of the sidepiece is nothing new. From the oldest stories of love that I can recall, I remember the dreaded presence of the other. Either the relationship works through this very human bump in the road or it ends as a result. Unfortunately, those who cheat, sidestep, and backslide, are known to be more likely to commit the same adulterous act again.
At this point, some people may grow tired with love, emotionally exasperated, and disappointed. We go through periods of blame, self-reflection, and stagnant trust issues as a result of such relationship woes. It seems that social media especially reflects the uncertainty and deception tied into modern monogamous love. We all search for this singular coupling of relationship status, yet we are well aware of the risk. Funny enough, many people still have the audacity to be surprised at the unfortunate results. I have decided to reflect on the state of monogamy in the practice of love. In school, many of us may learn that monogamous relationships are not natural or inherent to human interaction.
Other cultures have other necessities that affect their social norms and practices, providing us with examples of polyandry and polygyny that we see today. In realizing that there is no "supposed to be" when it comes to love, why do we continue to lust after the myth of monogamy? This constant state of seeking appears to be toxic to our emotional states and well being. Relationships are ruined over the lies and secrets that directly go against the expectation of monogamy. I suspect that this monogamy's mythic virtue is more than just a human disappointment.
There must be more to why we feel the need to follow what we know will hurt us. It may be a combination of psychological principles, cultural sway, and maybe even conspiracy that has led to this predicament, but I encourage you all to question what it is that you think you need.
