I see your stares. I hear your whispers. I feel every hurtful word penetrate my back like a bullet piercing my skin, one by one.

The moment you step through those automatic doors exiting the hospital with the little bundle of joy in your arms, everyone around you instantly remembers you as the body you were before. The body that hadn't had a child inside it. They undeniably forget in a moment the basketball size belly you entered the hospital with.

So many expectations, judgments, gossip spread amongst the many whom have never had the experience themselves. "Well "so and so" bounced back instantly; you never would have known she had a baby, so you must have ate terribly your whole pregnancy," "Wow, you're so much bigger now that you've had kids," "I'm not used to you being fat." (Yes, these are comments I have first hand encountered).

9 months. 9 months a woman's body is stretched, strained, torn, so a little life can be nourished, grown, and brought into this world. Yet we expect each skin cell to miraculously form perfectly back in place as easily as it was displaced on the other. A woman is NOT the same person she was post baby bearing days to the girl she was pre. Her life has changed completely; her appearance, her heart, her entire aspect on life. THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. Do not compare her to the woman she was or the women around her; concentrate on the woman she has came to be.

The loose skin will heal (to the best of its ability), but the hurtful backstabbing comments made about her? Those will replay every night just as her head finally gets to hit the pillow. A Mother must be able to look in the mirror, not even recognize herself, and cope with that. That she is truly beautiful in this new form. She doesn't need everyone putting the mirrors in front of her, everywhere she goes.

Tell a Mother she is beautiful, because she is. Her changes are God's greatest creation. The stretch marks are badges of honor, the loose skin is proof that that big basketball bump did once exist, the extra fat is the comfort that a beautiful baby was once protected and secure underneath her skin. Give her time.

Having a baby isn't easy. Adjusting to a baby outside the womb is even harder. Raising a child is the hardest. Do not make a Mother feel worthless for always choosing her children's needs before her own. Yes, she would love to hit the gym every day. Yes, she would love to have more than a five minute shower daily. I myself would rather have loose skin and muffin tops the rest of my life, as long as my children grow up knowing that their Mommy ALWAYS put their health, happiness, and overall wellbeing before how she felt about her own appearance.

Without a Mother's sacrifice, you wouldn't be here. Take time to appreciate that.