Look at this guys, I made it through my second season of color guard! But as all veterans to the sport know, the grind has only just begun. Because when daylights saving ends, you go to the school's indoor gym, unwrap that huge freaking tarp and get ready because now it's time for nine moments in winter guard that make me want to stag leap out of the gym.
1. Coming back from winter break
Coach, you know damn well no one practiced over winter break. Don't single me out.
2. The Floor
"The Floor" is just a euphemism for a tarp the size of a gymnasium that smells like something that would be censored in this article.
3. Folding the Floor
Oh, you thought we were done practicing? Haha, no sweetie. We have to spend 20 minutes folding this nasty tarp that now more than ever smells like shi-
4. More complicated work
Have you ever thrown a triple while running at the same time? Me neither, but here I am.
5. Less shows but more accountability
While it's nice that I don't have to bust my butt every Friday, I also don't like that now it really counts for our four public shows that I do everything perfect. Guys, I get nervous, OK.
SEE ALSO: 17 Moments That Make All Color Guard Members Want To Snap Their Rifles In Half
6. The big competition
For every winter guard, the last competition is always the most terrifying. For us, we went to a stadium that was bigger than my high school and I almost passed out.
7. The attitude-y new girls are back, but worse
Winter guard always get less of an influx of new girls than color, but oh boy. This time we can't even count on the heat to take some of the fight out of the rookies. It's all AC and arguments.
8. I'm expected to be better???
9. Evidently, two hours is not enough to do my hair.
I haven't changed, coach. I still don't know what an altitude leap is and if I did, I'd probably be really bad at it.
10. Ugly Pictures
Maybe I'm a masochist and I enjoy pain and suffering. Or maybe I'm genuinely grateful for the people I can always count on to make room for me to eat with in the guard room. Maybe I'm grateful for all the times I have a junior or senior friend to assure me it's not so awful. Maybe I'm happy that there's that fun member who likes doing bird calls for no reason or is constantly doing whatever weird dance is the most trendy at the moment. Maybe I genuinely like the sport.
Then, it's just as likely I'm a masochist. But hey, who knows?
