You don't actually hate your mom. You wish you did and you try really hard to, but you don't. She has not done anything bad enough to justify you hating her.

I'm not saying that she is perfect and has done everything right, because I know she hasn't. No mom is given a guide book when their children are born. She is just trying to do the best she can from what she knows.

I know you have probably been given a lot of lectures from different people about how you need to treat your mom better and be nicer and more considerate. That is not what I'm trying to do. I was given those lectures constantly and all they did was make me angrier. I've been there, I know. I know what it is like to try to communicate and feel like you are talking to brick wall. I know what it is like to argue constantly over stupid things. I know what it's like to want to be able to talk to my mom, but not be able to and how much that hurts.

I couldn't wait to get away for college and be on my own. I was excited to be able to do whatever I wanted outside of the pressure from my mom. I didn't think I would ever call her more than once or twice a month. I was going to do everything my way and be my own person. I didn't want to be anything like my mother. I wanted to be completely and totally free.

But...

I teared up when she first left me alone in my dorm room.

I call her at least once a week, if not more than that.

The first person I want to see when I go home is my mom.

I miss her so much more than I ever expected to.

Leaving for college made me realize how much like my mom I really am and how proud I am of that. I want to be like my mom. She is so much more amazing than I ever gave her credit for when I was in high school. But I never would have found that out if I had not left.

She's not perfect. She still gets on my nerves and we still don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. That's okay. We're both trying. That's all that matters.

Your mom isn't out to get you. She isn't trying to ruin your life on purpose, even though it can seem that way sometimes. She loves you and wants what is best for you. Don't write her off completely. You'll leave and miss her more than anything. Take it from someone who has been there. Stop fighting her while you can, before it is too late. She won't be around forever.

Moms are interesting creatures. They're irreplaceable. One day you will look back and realize how awful you were and how much you wish you could undo a lot of stupid things you did. One day you will wish you had a better relationship with your mom. I've been there. Make sure you figure it out before it is too late.

You need your mom just as much as she needs you. Don't waste your life pushing her away.