Mom,
Because we used to see each other pretty much every day, I took for granted our time together. I have so much I want you to know, and so much I want to tell you. Here are the top five things you need to hear from me more often...these are things I should have said.
1. "I'm proud to be your daughter."
I admire you, Mom. I admire your courage. I admire your strength. I'm proud to be your daughter because I am proud of the person you are. Never in my life have I met someone as selfless and loving as you. Like I've said before and always will, if I grow up to be just half the woman you are, I will consider myself so very fortunate. You are the model of what a Christian woman and mother should be, and I greatly aspire to follow in your footsteps.
2. "I love you, and thank you for loving me."
Mom, I love you a lot. I hope you know this, too. I know I can be the biggest pain in your behind 99.9% of the time, but please know I love you and would give my life for you if need be. And, thank you for loving me too. You love me at my worst, and at my best. Through my many failures and defeats your love for me never wavers. You don't understand how great a feeling this is. I honestly know that no matter what I do in life, or what path I take, you will have my back. You will never leave me stranded, or decide to give up on me. Mom, words can't describe how I thank you for this.
3. "I'm sorry."
Mom, I think from the time I started walking, you started worrying. To help you cope with this, I was sure I participated in low-risk activities, such as riding 1000lb horses, raising and showing 1100-1300lb cattle, driving as early as possible, getting multiple jobs, and applying to many colleges my senior year of high school-a few which were out of state. Mom, I'm sorry. Sorry for worrying you, sorry for being hard-headed, sorry for having a big mouth that I don't know how to control, and sorry for having the "I-know-it-all" teenager mentality starting even before my teen years and at the age of ten or eleven.
4. "You're right."
I'm sure you haven't noticed this, but I struggle with my pride a bit (haha!). I know, big surprise-you would have never guessed that, right?! Well, here's me putting my pride aside and just saying it: "You were right." Heck, you're always right it seems. I used to get so mad when you would warn me about an activity I was about to partake in. "Hannah, I know you, and you won't like this." or, "Hannah, I know you-you're taking to much on." or even as simple as household chores. "Hannah, do it now. You'll forget about it and it won't get done." To these, I'd always respond with a melodramatic whine, "Nooo, Ma, you DON'T 'know' me!" And then I would proceed to fall flat on my face, repeatedly. But Mom, you never ever said "I told you so." Thank you for this.
5. "I miss you."
Mom, I miss you. I miss your sarcasm and your jokes. I miss your random singing and dancing around the house. I miss your advice I never wanted to hear before, and I miss your hugs. An hour is too far away. Come live with me, I miss you Pal.
