Growing up, I've never seen eye to eye with my mom. My dad always says we're too similar because we butt heads on anything and everything. When I was younger, my relationship with my mom was in shambles. We fought constantly, said hurtful things to each other, and would ignore each other for days. I had always dreamed of being close with my mom. All of my friends had wonderful relationships with their moms, and could even call them their best friend. I, however, could not do this. I felt like I couldn't tell my mom anything without a fight breaking out. My mom has always been very tough on me, and back then I thought it was because she wanted to make my life a living hell, but looking back on things, I realize she's tough because she wants the best for me.
When I say we fought about everything I mean literally everything. It would be a rarity to see my mom and I get along for a day. If the day didn't end in tears it was a successful day in the King household. I craved a deeper relationship with my mom. Growing up, I was always a daddy's girl and was incredibly close with him, and I still am. I longed for the same type of relationship with my mom, but after years of arguing and screaming, "I hate you," in rage, I sadly began to think I would never have a good relationship with my mom. I used to lay in bed wondering if I would ever go back to visit her in college and when I moved out and got married. I wondered how often my children would see her, and we would even want to be in each other's lives.
Over the years our relationship slightly got better, and I saw a glimmer of hope. My mom and I quickly began to realize that we weren't getting any younger and that we needed to do something about our relationship before something horrible happened. During my senior year of high school, we still had our issues, but we were much closer. The summer before my freshman year of college we began to bond more since I would soon be living an hour and a half away from home. It became aware to me that I would actually miss my mom and visit her, when years before I swore I would never miss her at college or even visit her.
Having a tough relationship with my mom has made me realize that she's the most important person in my life. You only get one mom, and what good is it to resent her? We've gotten much closer and I feel like I can talk to her about anything; well, almost anything. She was there for me through my first major heartbreak, and assured me that everything would be okay.
Even though I once longed to have my mom as my best friend, she's not, and that's okay. She's my mom, she's supposed to be tough on me, set limits, fight with me, and protect me at all costs. She's not supposed to be my best friend—she's not supposed to treat me like a friend rather than a daughter, and I'm okay with that.
Just remember, your mom is the most important woman in your life; no matter what you've been through together, she loves you unconditionally. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize this, but I'm glad I finally did. Mom, I love you more than words can say, and here's to years of memories.
