I wanted to apologize for everything that I put you through when I was younger. We all know I was a hellion in my teenage years.
I was hell-bent on doing everything I could to get myself in trouble as much as possible. Then, I was angry at the world and refused to think that I was at fault.
Now I understand I was just stupid.
I was an angel child until eighth grade. Before that, I had constantly spouted off to my friends that I had never been grounded.
That came to a grinding halt when month after month I was getting my phone taken. I couldn’t go to friend’s houses. I couldn’t do sports.
I literally couldn’t do anything.
And I know it was my fault. I went through my phase a little early compared to other people, which made it all the scarier.
But a large portion of what I was doing was out of spite. Everyone knows the man of the household and I did not get along, still don’t to this day.
The anger he and I had only fueled my delinquency.
There was constant tension in the house. It went through waves. We would like each other then something would happen and we’d hate each other again.
It was a never-ending cycle. Just when we thought everything was OK, it all went downhill again. And we put you in the middle of it.
We both put a stress on you that was completely unfair.
It was extremely selfish of both of us to put you in the middle like that. We essentially said choose one, and while I don’t think anyone is ever going to agree on the outcome, it was wrong to put you in that situation in the first place.
And now here we are.
I’m almost 21 and I’ll be graduating from college in December. I’m almost a fully functioning adult. I say almost because I still want you to call the doctor for me.
The older I’ve gotten the more I realized how horrible I was and how much of a strained relationship we had.
I don’t want that anymore.
Not like it’s strained now. But, I never really apologized for being the way I was. You were the one who was always apologizing, saying that you were a horrible mom.
You are not a horrible mom.
You are a great mom, and I love you. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You did what was best and I understand that now.
So, I’m sorry for being that way. I’m sorry I made you choose. I’m sorry I stressed you out so much.
I want nothing more than for you to be happy.
I also know this will make you cry because everything makes you cry, so I’m sorry for that, too.
I want you to know that I love you more than anything. You have been the best mom I could have ever asked for.
I’m glad we are over everything and have a better relationship than we’ve ever had.