When You're The "Mom Friend"

When You're The "Mom Friend"

If I had a penny for everytime my friends have said, "Thanks Mom"!

If I had a penny for every time my friends have said, “Thanks Mom”, I’d be rich. Somewhere between the lines of high school and college I’ve morphed into the Mom of the group. This happens everywhere I go. It’s happened at work, in group me, and with my friends at school. I didn’t really know what to think of it at first. Did that mean I was too responsible? Was I not fun? Was I being annoying? I’ve grown to accept it though, and now I proudly own my “Mom life”. Here’s a few things about being the "Mom" of many college students:

1) You Carry A Bag That Would Make Mary Poppins Jealous

People always ask if you have things, because they know you keep literally everything in your backpack. Advil, granola bars, tissues, hand sanitizer, notebook paper. They name it, you’ve got it.

2)You are the provider of food.

Whether you’ve packed it, cooked it, or bought it, your friends will never go hungry. I’m the person that goes on their lunch break at work to buy food for their co-workers. If I find a friend that missed lunch, you can bet that I will be making sure they eat as soon as possible. No kids will go hungry on my watch!

3)You're the go to counselor of the group

.....and everybody knows it. You put out fires left and right, and offer enough life advice to write a best-selling novel. Always being emotionally available can be draining, but it’s always worth it when your friends come back and say, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you”.

4)You’re the group planner for all activities

.... because you’re the only person that has their act together. Heck, if it wasn’t for you, you guys would never do any fun, organized activities!

5)You speak “Mom language”.

Did you finish that paper? Do you need anything? How are you doing? Watch where you're going! You need to wear a jacket today! Don't touch that!

6)You’re always the driver

...and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Hey, college kids are some irresponsible drivers! No way are you trusting them with your life! Like any good Mom, you drive a big vehicle that seats seven, so that everyone will always have a ride.

7) You're the peacemaker

If you see a fight going down, you don't hesitate to step right in the middle of it, and say, "Let's take a deep breath and try using our words".

Being the Mom may be work at times, but one day you’ll look down at your giant cup of coffee, Mary Poppins tote bag, and texts from your twelve “kids”, and think, “I’m pretty darn blessed.”

Besides, there’s no question about who’s going to be the best Mom in the group. You're already doing it!

Cover Image Credit: Emalee Fox

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Come To Terms With Having An Imperfect Relationship With Your Parents And Accept Them As They Are

We expect our parents to eventually change and accept us for who we are, to see our sides, and to not take us for granted. But when this doesn't happen, we get incredibly furious.

Despite coming from an Asian household, my relationship with my parents is not always governed by the classic "respect your elders" and "honor the family" values. Don't get me wrong though, I do hold true to these sayings, but with a grain of salt.

For those of us who do not have the good fortune of having healthy, happy relationships with our parents, there comes a moment of enlightenment when we realize that we will never have those kinds of relationships with our parents. That is absolutely OK.

In my case, this happened in the first semester of my first year of college. I was living away from home and was surprised by the unusually loving behavior of my mom and dad. However, once I started commuting from home the next semester, the loving gestures like texting me to ask me how my day or wanting to have a chat with me just because, ended and I felt like I was back to square one with my parents. I had hoped that the distance would make my parents be more expressive and open with me (which it did) but that was gone in an instant I was back home. I had the same old arguments with my parents and felt like a high school student all over again.

We expect our parents to eventually change and accept us for who we are, to see our sides, and to not take us for granted. But when this doesn't happen, we get incredibly furious. Then we feel incredibly guilty for being such bad children who just can't listen to their parents. This guilt forces us to deal with so much emotional abuse, manipulation, and stress until we realize that our parents are people. We are allowed to not get along with them.

Once I realized that I will neither be able to fully satisfy my parents nor will they treat me fairly, I was able to accept them for who they were. By not holding them up to expectations they couldn't meet, my parents became more human and their flaws were those of people, rather than of my parents. All of my hurt feelings subsided as everything became less personal.

Relationships between our parents dictate our choices, our treatment of others, and our treatment of ourselves. It's important to know that you are not at fault for not loving your parents to the moon and back and that you should not feel guilty for something you cannot control. Parents are not black or white, they are gray in that they give us life and we owe them respect and acknowledgment, but that doesn't guarantee love and harmony.

It is OK to be a "bad" child if that means doing what is best for you.

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