My mom's social life is one to be envied. Ever since my parents split up, my mom has been killing the dating game and goes out every weekend.
She even goes to clubs, CLUBS. I know, it's crazy.
My parents have been divorced for over five years now, and both her and my dad have been in other relationships since then. They have found amazing (and not so amazing) people in this time, but I commend them both for seeking relationships when everyone else seems to already be married or, God forbid, old and wrinkly.
Imagine trying to date at 50 years old.
My parents divorced when I was 16. It wasn't totally a surprise but it was definitely an adjustment. You go your whole life thinking your parents are just your parents. They've always been Mom and Dad. The world has only existed with them together and with you in the center of it, right?
But once your parent's divorce, you start to see their flaws and their ability to be human. As my brother and I were figuring out who we were, we were also just starting to figure out who are parents were—without each other.
When my dad moved out, he began another relationship. And a while after that so did my mom. It took them a bit to allow me to see them as people. They both were capable of mistakes and wreckage, and they, too, needed love and a sense of belonging in this world.
The weird thing was that at the same time my parents were just getting back into the dating scene, I was just getting into it. It's strange to be in a place in your life where all your friends are dating and you realize that so are your PARENTS.
Now, my dating life as of this moment in my life has been, sub-par. Unfulfilled. Non-existent. I've never really "dated" someone, especially for a long period of time. And over the past few years, I've become more comfortable with being on my own and doing my own thing without having to be in a relationship.
Yet, seeing my mom go out every weekend made me realize how much she was living her life—and how much I wasn't.
Coming home from college in the summer, my mom was the one going out on the weekends, hanging out with her friends, and going on dates, while I was the one sitting on the couch worrying about when she would come home. I didn't know when it had happened, but my mom and I had switched lives.
Wasn't I the one supposed to be going out all the time and living my best life?
Wasn't I supposed to be the one coming home late and having her ask me where I've been?
Was I failing at being a teenager?
My mom had to learn how to navigate dating at a time in her life when society told her she needed to be settled down. And I had to combat the ideas that I "should" be dating and going out and all the things a teenage girl "should" be doing.
I was being bombarded with questions of who I was dating or why I wasn't. Because of my age, everyone just expected me to have a boyfriend.
But the truth is, I really didn't care. And I still don't.
My weekends were usually filled with constant Netflix binges and eating cereal from the box on a regular basis. I love my bed and watching TV until I can't see straight probably more than life itself. I am completely OK with staying in on the weekends while everyone else goes to a party. And I am completely okay with focusing on myself right now.
But we shouldn't be limited by our age. Just as I have the right to not be dating, my mom has every right to live her life however she wants, regardless of her age.
Divorce taught me just as much about myself as it taught me about my mom. She is smart and brave and isn't afraid to live her life as she wants.
Who's to say when we should start dating? And who's to say when we should stop?
