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If Mizzou Bars Were Mizzou Boys

Because boys and bars are pretty interchangeable, right?

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If Mizzou Bars Were Mizzou Boys

A detailed list of every Mizzou boy you've ever met, as told by Mizzou bars.

Bengal's Bar and Grill

The guy that has no shame. He likes your big, he likes your little, he likes your mom. You like him because he's fun, but sometimes you can't help but feel like you're not the only girl he's got his eyes on.


Big 12 (Campus Bar and Grill)

The best guy you'll ever know. He's always down to party, but can also hang back too. He's always down for anything and doesn't mind when you eat three burgers on a very shambly Sunday (and often encourages it).

The Field House
The guy who's stuck in high school. He keeps inviting you to his parties and you keep going, only to discover that all of his guy friends smell like Axe and all of his girl friends look like they just left the Homecoming dance.

Harpo's Bar and Grill
The wishy-washy guy. Sometimes he's into you, sometimes he's not. Sometimes he wants you to come over, sometimes he's "too busy." You can't count on much with this guy except inconsistency.

The Penguin Piano Bar
The super mature, unreachable guy. You admire him from a distance because he's too old for you, but you know even if you could hang with him, you wouldn't know how to handle yourself. So for now, you stick with the younger guys.

Quinton's
The overly-reliable, friend-zoned guy. He's always there when you need him, but you don't call him until you need him. When all guys have let you down, you know that you can always go back to him, even if it's just for a night.

Roxy's
The guy you met that always wants to dance. Every time you're with him you forget all of your worries. That is until you wake up in the morning and there's natural light and you see him for what he truly is, which is ug-lay.

Shiloh Bar And Grill
The guy you met that doesn't go to Mizzou. He's super chill but every time you remember all of his friends are mainly townies, you get uneasy. He's friendly, cool, and at least you know he'll get along with your mom.

Ten Below
The guy who doesn't invite you over until almost midnight, and every time he does he's blackout drunk and only wants to hang out in the basement. (But you never stop answering his calls.)

Tropical Liqueurs
The guy who likes your older sister. He thinks you're cute, but doesn't want to get into any trouble, so he'll pretty much only hang with you if you're with your older sister. And she rubs it in your face all the time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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