15 Mistakes We Can't Seem To Stop Making In Our Relationships
Start writing a post
Relationships

15 Mistakes We Can't Seem To Stop Making In Our Relationships

Relationships are hard. No matter how hard we try, we seem to repeat these mistakes over and over again.

406
15 Mistakes We Can't Seem To Stop Making In Our Relationships
123rf

Once in a while, we find people in our lives that seem perfect. And they are. Everything seems great, but there's a voice in the back of your mind that prompts you to question your relationships, have unrealistic expectations, and constantly worry.

You can avoid letting your feelings get the best of you if you stop making the following mistakes.

1. Relying on one person for happiness

People who are too attached to their significant other are at risk of being in a toxic relationship. Signs include constantly worrying if the other person cares about you, the inability to stop thinking about them, and your constant need for them to prove their friendship to you. If you are guilty of any of these, it’s time to realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship.

2. Playing around with emotions

Getting too clingy, moving too fast, and falling too quickly for people are extremely detrimental to your wellbeing. Playing with your trust, commitment, and peace of mind by questioning everything and taking impulsive decisions will backfire in the end. It may even make the other person withdraw from you.

3. Relying on people in general for happiness

Your happiness should mainly stem from yourself. People are only the bonuses in what should already be an awesome life. In other words, no matter who leaves or enters your life, you should maintain your composure and retain a sufficient amount of happiness. No one person should be the make or break of you.

4. Hoping for an equal balance

No matter how hard the two of you try, this will simply never be true. At some mode or stage in life, you will feel like you put too much effort. At other times, you will feel that you don't do enough. It may be stagnant or keep alternating, but understand that the imbalance is OK. Depending on the situation, the balance of give-and-take will vary. That being said, if you find yourself in a totally one-sided relationship or with an overbearing, possessive partner, it's probably time to call it quits— which brings me to my next point.

5. Trying to find someone that matches your ideal

We all have an ideal image of a perfect significant other. It's natural to create one. Sometimes, after we become close to someone, we start placing unrealistic expectations on them because we naturally hope for so much more. The biggest favor you can do yourself is to stop seeking for that someone. It's good to have basic expectations and characteristics that you seek for in a person, but do not let it get the best of you.

Learn to be open to new people, and you never know who you'll come across and befriend. The longer you spend trying to find your ideal, the more amazing people you'll lose in reality.

6. Forgetting that people do not exist to fill a void in your life

Understand that people do not exist in your life for the sole purpose of pleasing and entertaining you. Whether they are busy, unresponsive, or forgetful, it is in your best interest to keep in mind that everyone has their own priorities, goals, and dreams— and unfortunately, you aren't at the top of that list.

People will disappoint you at times, but more often than not, it is not personal and intentional. For your own peace of mind, skip the hours spent worrying and the sleepless nights and come to the mature conclusion that the only person that is 100% invested in your life is you.

7. Being selfish.

These are the people who only go to their friends when they need them — when they feel upset when they need to talk, when they want a friend. Sometimes, we’re so caught up in our own lives that we forget to be there for those around us. Do not make the mistake of taking people for granted because losing friends is painful. If not now, you will miss them later on. One day, you will find yourself all alone and crave their presence.

8. Not being selfish enough.

Having said that, you should always place yourself, your happiness, and your wellbeing in front of others. Do not put your priorities on hold just to meet someone else’s expectations. If your significant other cannot give you enough space or time without feeling insecure and jealous, it’s best to set up boundaries. People should respect that at a certain point of a relationship, it's OK to have separate lives and still be close.

9. Focusing on only one person.

Do not make the mistake of placing all of your expectations and spending all your time with one person. One person, no matter how close to you, will never fulfill all your needs or understand you completely. Having different people in your life gives you more perspective, a breath of fresh air, and more pillars of support.

Do not stop seeking other relationships after you’ve found “the one.” Maybe you have one friend who relates to your hobbies, one who you share your closest secrets with, and one friend who has the same career goals as you. It’s rare to find someone just like you, so don’t drive yourself crazy searching for everything in one person. Life is all about meeting new people because nothing is permanent.

If your significant other is everything you wish them to be, then think about all the other wonderful people you may encounter someday!

10. Forcing yourself to find someone new.

The beautiful thing about friendship or any relationship is that it is unexpected. Do not force yourself to find a new significant other. If you think back to every best friend or significant other you've had, you probably met and befriended them unexpectedly. So, give it time. You will meet someone right when the time is right. In the meantime, enjoy living in the moment and welcome new people.

12. Not letting go soon enough.

Learn to let go of relationships that are toxic. It’s in your best interest to do so. I know it is hard, but you’ll thank yourself for it in the future. Keeping people in your life that make you unhappy no matter how much you care for them is extremely unhealthy for you. You can come up with hundreds of reasons to hold onto them, but none will be paramount to your happiness.

13. Forgetting that others besides your significant other exist around you.

Do not betray or ignore the people around you just because you are now in a great relationship. You may not realize it now, but it will bite you later on. Taking people for granted is the worst thing anyone can do. Just because you trust one person with everything does not suddenly grant that you betray everyone else in your life. If you are lucky enough to have several people in your life that care about you, do not lose their trust and loyalty to continue bonding with one person.

14. Avoiding confrontation.

Silent treatment. Passive aggressiveness. Awkward and dry interactions. These are the three worst solutions to fix any problem. It's simply better and faster to communicate, confront the issue head-on, and move on. Sometimes, being right isn’t as important as saving the relationship.

15. You and your significant other become the same person.

Chances are you two were opposites when you first met and after all this time, you two have merged into the same person. You think alike and sound alike. I get it, it's nice knowing that someone is always on your side. It's comforting knowing that someone always has your back. But when you lose that initial polarity that once brought you two together, it's not exciting anymore. More importantly, you should never have to give up your own individuality for another's sake. Remember that you two exist as separate entities. A good relationship makes for a good team, not a good clone.

Relationships are hard. No matter how hard we try, we seem to repeat these mistakes over and over again. Humans naturally have unrealistic expectations and want love and attention, but emotional turmoil is a rabbit hole you should avoid going down. Good relationships can be extremely rewarding as long as you take the time to appreciate everything wonderful about them.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

In an already unprecedented political landscape, things aren't looking so bright for mail-in voters heading into November's election. In 46 states and Washington D.C., post offices received a warning that mail-in ballots may not be counted on time to count on election day, according to a report by the Washington Post.

Keep Reading... Show less
FOX

"New Girl" is one of the best sitcoms of all time. Honestly, it is so much fun to watch, so much fun to relate to, just all around a great show.

Not only is a great show, it has so many different great settings, obviously including the loft. If you live by Nick Miller quotes and desperately tried to learn how to play "True American," you need to buy these things because you are a true "New Girl" fan.

Keep Reading... Show less

You know those items you've been pinning to your Home board on Pinterest for [insert amount of time]? Well, it's officially the moment to turn that wishlist into a married life reality, and it's going to be SO fun.

But, before you get to shopping and adding things to your upgraded bridal wishlist (sorry, Pinterest, it was lovely while it lasted), you'll first want to decide where you want to open your registry (or registries, if you want options). Here are 17 of the best websites and stores to consider saying "I do" to for your wedding registry, to have and to hold for as long as people are buying you wedding gifts.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you've ever been in the dating game, or currently are, chances are you've had a date gone wrong. These are often times super embarrassing, but they are always funny to look back on.

Keep Reading... Show less

I just recently got engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic is actually kind of a nightmare.

A lot of venues are taken for 2021 because of corona brides and grooms who have had to reschedule their weddings and the same goes for other vendors and literally everything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

While promoting her most recent movie, "Work It," Sabrina Carpenter has divulged some of her favorite beauty products to interviewers.

Keep Reading... Show less

When I say we can't stop thinking about the relationship advice Miley Cyrus dropped on "Call Her Daddy" today, I mean it literally.

Her truth bombs hit me (and most who listened) like a wrecking ball and coupled with the release of her new song "Midnight Sky," we're going to need some time to process the greatness. In case you haven't listened yet (what are you waiting for?), here are 10 relationship tips Miley shared that we should all live by for the rest of time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments