College is such a memorable time in our lives. It’s the first real taste of independence we have had since high school, and it opens us up to so many unique opportunities. I’m thankful for the friends that I’ve made, and I’ve already made some great memories. But, sometimes I’m met with feelings of nostalgia when I see an old friend from high school, when I drive past the football field, or when I began to dwell on the memories I made just a few short months ago in the school that I had grown up in for ten years. Maybe it’s just because I’m a month into my freshman year of college, or maybe it’s because I haven’t found a steady group of friends just yet, but there’s this longing in me to participate in one last spirit week or look at prom dresses just one more time.
Last night was the first time in four weeks that I drove back to my hometown. I coincidentally drove down during a Friday night football game which, also happened to be Senior Night. I saw the students in the stands doing the same cheers and student-section traditions that I had participated in just a few months ago, and I saw all of them having the time of their lives. I didn’t realize how much I missed those Friday night lights until I caught myself crying on the way back to Wittenberg’s campus.
I became frustrated with myself that I was still caught up in high school. I was annoyed that I wanted nothing more than to be back in that student-section cheering on our football team. I missed that sense of community and comradery. I hated the thought that I peaked in high school and that I’d be one of those people who never really grew out of their high school glory days.
However, I reminded myself that it’s only one month into my freshman year of college. I don’t have to automatically have to have my life-long friends figured out. In fact, I don’t have to have anything figured out. I told myself that’s it’s okay to miss high school. It’s okay to miss the tight-knit community and the great memories that I made there. It doesn’t make me a weak person just because I have a longing for what’s familiar to me and to have the desire to be a part of high school again. Think about it-- since kindergarten we've been with the same group of kids all moving through different stages in our lives and growing together. To have that change so abruptly after graduation, it can cause strife, confusion, and anxiousness. To have all of your friends that you've known for so long say their goodbyes, venture off into the next part of their lives, and then expect to be okay with that overnight is putting way too much pressure on yourself.
It's okay to miss your friends. It's okay to miss your sports teams, or your theatre groups, or whatever great things you pursued in high school. It doesn't mean you "peaked in high school" and "won't ever be able to relive those days" in your life. We need to start cutting ourselves (and others) some more slack when it comes to the struggle of parting with our peers and teachers from high school.
As for me, I know that I’ll get settled here in college, and I know that I’ll make plenty of memories that are even better than the ones I made in high school. Maybe today isn't that day, but that’s okay! High school is great, but so is college. Don’t beat yourself up for missing something that’s been a part of your life for so long. Just remember that while that was a big part of your life, college has millions of opportunities and experiences just waiting for you to venture into. This is your time!
