It seems to be a running theme of me talking about how excited I am for college, which I absolutely am and I honestly cannot wait to be living the college life.
As of the date I am writing this, August 8, it is t-minus 14 days until I'm packing up my new car full of my shiny new dorm stuff and heading up to college to have the time of my life, but also in 14 days, I'll be without my best friend - my mom.
I am the girl who would, with no hesitation, pack her mom in a suitcase and bring her to college with me if that was allowed.
As excited as I am to start a new life away from my hometown, fresh out of and away from high school, and with new people making new memories, I haven't really thought about what it's going to be like without my mom around me every day - until now as I'm writing this. It's setting in that I'm not going to wake up to notes from my mom when she's gone, signed, "Love you, love me!"
Our passing words as I walk into the bathroom after waking to take out my retainers will turn in to morning phone calls before I have class or texts depending on the other's schedule. Our visits will make it hard for the other to leave again when it's time. Our meals together will be more special because they'll only be when I come home or when she comes to visit me. The amount that I am going to miss my mother while I'm at college, is indescribable.
Yes, I'm already crying and I'm only 200 and some words in.
My relationship with my mom has been much more special than some, as she's been my only one. She's been my person, my best friend, my protector, my giggle partner, my supporter, my mother, my father, my everything. So deciding to go live at college and leaving her has been one of the hardest decisions ever and I haven't quite come to face it that it's coming up so fast and everything is going to be so different.
I won't be able to come downstairs in the morning and find her there, I won't be able to have her over medium eggs whenever I ask - I'll have to learn to make them myself. I won't be able to wake up and give my mom a hug every day or give her a kiss before I leave to go to work. I won't be able to have her around whenever I miss her company or just want to say I love you. (Yep, definitely still crying.)
Mom,
As much as it doesn't sound like it, I'll be okay at college. I'm just going to miss you being around all of the time and I'm going to miss you most of all. This is what you've been raising me for these past 18 years and it's finally time. I love you so much, mom. More than you'll ever know. Don't forget to come and visit me and I won't forget to call.
I love you,
Your daughter.
