I keep seeing the post about Christmas gift giving according to the Rule of Four- need, want, wear and read (or similar) on my newsfeed. I have many Minimalist friends who stick to and enjoy doing their Christmas gift giving this way. Yesterday evening I was considering the gifts we plan to give each other in my own household. The Rule of Four doesn't fit us at all. None of us need anything particular that we wouldn't budget in and buy any other time, we still have more clothes than I'd like us each to have in our wardrobes and collectively way too many books.
This year, I'm making my own rule: The Rule of Five. My Rule of Five idea is inspired by the best-ing book by Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages." If you aren't familiar, Chapman's book states that we each have a certain "love language," a way of being shown affection from our mate that makes us feel the most loved. Following the Five Love Languages, here is my Rule of Five for Christmas gift giving:
Words of Affirmation
This is my Husband's Love Language, so I am accustomed to this particular way of showing love. I keep a journal for him that I write love notes inside. Some other great ideas for this gift to your loved one would be a handmade card, a strategically placed note (maybe in their lunchbox, in between their paper bills in their wallet, inside the dishwasher after the cycle has finished running), a poster the kids help to create singing his/her praises, a personal recording of audio or video to be treasured for years to come (Moms would love this idea, kids!), a phone call to that loved one who lives out-of-state, or just taking a day to intentionally comment on all the ways loving this individual makes your life better.
Physical Touch
Depending on who you're gifting you could be more or less intimate here. A firm handshake with eye contact to your boss thanking him or her for another great year would likely be well received. For a friend or distant relative, a warm hug might be nice. Cuddling on the couch reading or lying in bed scratching their back while they fall asleep might be well received by your child. If you are in a relationship, use your imagination for this category.
Quality Time
Go all out and pop popcorn, bring home treats you all enjoy but rarely buy like sodas or candies, lay some blankets in the living room floor and have a home movie night together. Don't forget to silence your cell phone just like you would in the theater. Emerse yourself in the season by going ice skating together or take a Christmas themed train ride. Bake cookies together. Stop by after work and decorate the tree with Mom like you did when you were a kid. Take a friend out to lunch while she does her Christmas shopping. Tag along afterwards if you need to make a few purchases or help your friend accomplish her list.
Acts of Service
My favorite suggestion here is to encourage you to check an item off of that never-ending honey-do list. In fact, go ahead and check off three or four! ;) Surprising your spouse by happily taking care of their least favorite household chores is also a nice idea. For mothers of young children, the greatest act of service is babysitting. Even if she decides not to actually leave the house, entertain her kids while she enjoys a hot bath alone or quiet time to read that novel she's been putting off. Visit Mom, bring her dinner, and clean up the kitchen for her after eating. Volunteering alongside your loved one would also be a nice way to spread the love this holiday season.
And finally,
Gifts
This one goes without saying, right? Sure. But I encourage you this year to take the time to thoughtfully consider what your loved one might like best. Please don't buy something just for the sake of buying something. Maybe a tangible item isn't what they have in mind as their ideal gift. Some outside the box ideas could be a shave club membership for him or her (we all do it), a cleaning service, car detailing or simply a nice dinner alone.
I feel like following this method is more thoughtful and, whether you are aware of your loved one's particular Love Language or not, everyone should end up with their love tanks a little more full this year by following this method.
