The following equation has been beaten into our heads since we were old enough to go to the bathroom on our own: get good grades = get into college = get perfect job = happiness.

The thing is, this is a complete fantasy.

This equation was made during a time in our country when college debt was not completely outrageous. A time when it did not cost more than a Lamborghini to get a piece of paper marking you as an employable adult. This was an equation made during a time when job markets were less cut throat and we did not need a Master’s degree and 3-5 years job experience to be a freaking busboy (or girl).

While this may not be the case for all of us, for many of us having a college degree does not mean we are completely assured the job of our dreams straight out of college. It means we have a better chance of getting a job, of course, but when it comes down to it, nothing is ever sure.

This equation is an idea, and this idea is one that sets up unrealistic beliefs that can be monumentally crushing for Millennials who are already crushed under the rock of student debt. I do not want to sound like a pessimist and say that this equation is setting us up for failure, because it is completely possible to get the perfect job and be happy as a result of the benefits that higher education provides. But I feel that this equation inflicts a sense of being rushed. As in, if we do not get into college or go to college right away we are a failure doomed to work a blue collar job and live in our parents’ house forever (don’t even get me started on how unfair the “blue collar stigma” is). Realistically, many Millennials will have to take a year or maybe just a semester off to work so they can be able to pay for their education. They are not lazy, they are not failures, they are not doomed; they are just fighting against a system that is so realistically overpriced that people can’t pay for it right away. And when we get out of college? Well, if we have to take out enough loans to mortgage a mansion by the time we are juniors then obviously we do not have time to wait around for the perfect job to crop up. Debts needs to be paid and a grace year is just that: a year.

So we have to settle sometimes. Work our way up, keep our prospects in sight, and when we get a job, remember: while it may not be the perfect job at least it is a job.

So rather than this unrealistic equation made during a time where you could buy a coffee and go to a movie without having to worry about whether a ten would cover a movie ticket if you went on a Wednesday instead of a five dollar Tuesday we need to ask ourselves:

What is the new equation? What do we want it to look like? And more importantly, how can we teach those high school seniors and college seniors that they are not failures? That they just need to slow down and take a breath. Give themselves time. Nothing is ever perfect or guaranteed. It is all about perspective and making your own happiness.