I know what you’re thinking. Just by reading the title you must be saying to yourself, “This girl is so dramatic.” but please hear me out. I am 19 years old and I am having a midlife crisis. I do realize that I’m not at the middle of my life but it sure feels like it to me. Living in a world where so much of our lives are dependent on social media, it’s hard to ignore the action of others especially when it’s online for everyone to see.
Just like you I always find myself baffled when I see people my age living such extravagant lives. Growing up in a small town means that I am used to being bored, but when suddenly everyone who also grew up in this small town starts breaking free of it’s chains I wonder how can I do that too. Being in my last teenage year I feel like I should’ve accomplished more by now. I’m not sure what exactly I should be doing but I feel like whatever it is I definitely am nowhere near accomplishing it. In a few years I am going to start to have to truly be on my own and I can’t help but have this feeling that if I don’t put myself out there and do something bold that I am going to be living this small town life forever.
When you’re younger people always ask you what to you want to be when you grow up. Growing up seemed so far away when we were that little. There’s really no transition between being a child and being an adult, life just sort of hits you one day. I want to use my time in college to live my life to the fullest but the pressure of staying in my small town life makes it hard for me to do anything. I constantly say to myself “you should’ve done that” or “that would’ve been fun” statements of regret and what could’ve been. In all reality though what is stopping me from doing what I want to do? The answer to that is my own fear of failing.
The way I see it is that once I’m financially independent, that’s it I’m on the long and slow road to nothing. There’s no better opportunity to be sporadic than right now. There’s no use in regretting things or wishing that I had taken an opportunity. I don’t regret the opportunities that I missed; I look at them as a learning experience and use that experience to guide my actions in the future. I am 19 years old and there’s no better time to live my life than right now. I will not be 40 years old and look back on all the things that I could have done but rather just do them. You cannot live in fear of failure or regret because then you will be nothing more than failure and regret. You are in control of your own happiness and your own destiny. Take a risk, even if it’s just something simple and the good things will just keep coming.
