My parents wanted a boy really badly and when I say badly, my mother even rubbed a Buddha belly to try and make it happen. A few months later they learned they were having their first child: my older sister. My family has albums full of pictures of her because she is the first born and they showered her with attention and love. Next was me: I was born a year and 1 day after my sister. I have a good number of photos but nowhere a close as my older sister. After me was my little sister and she was truly the most beautiful baby. Both my older sister and I are blue-eyed and have brown hair but my little sister is blue-eyed and has blond hair(she looks like she was adopted but you know... yeah, I'm just jealous). Anyways, she hardly has any pictures from when she was a baby but
Let's get into the logistics of this! I discovered the Middle Child Syndrome years ago and I wanted to cry at how accurate it is.
1. We are usually the one that is more successful (not going to brag but it's true)
The first born has all the attention so when the second child is born, all the attention goes to her and (even if the first doesn't remember it), they resented the one that interfered with his/her unconditionally and starts doing everything to drag their parent's attention from the second born. Because by virtue of being the oldest, they are more prone to receiving privileges exclusive to her and responsibilities (for the younger sister). The oldest usually feels that since they took care of the middle child that the middle child is capable of taking care of the youngest child. This initially being taken care of by older ten having to care for the youngest is what makes the middle child torn and conflicted. They possess the qualities of never being pampered or given attention as well as having the responsible nature from childhood. This leads to the middle gaining a sense of respect, expectation, and burden that they must excel to gain the love of their parents, no matter what, even going to college.
Think about this: You learn from your older sibling and then have to teach your younger sibling later. It's the reinforcement and is basically programmed to make the middle child smarter. 🧠
2. We are quiet but that is just because we are polite and respectful
"I am the model middle child. I am patient and I like to take care of everyone. Being called nice is a compliment. It's not a boring way to describe me." - Jennifer Garner
By nature, middle children are more polite and respectful of others feelings, even if deep down we want to flip some of you people off. If you look up the middle child in giphy, you only get a cluster of gifs of people that give you the bird (middle finger). That is literally the middle child vibe, just wanting to be able to flip someone off when they talk about how much they love being the oldest or youngest. We are able to hide what we feel and be the most friendly people in the world.😇
We tend to be more empathetic and sensitive to others feelings since we didn't get a lot of attention and expression of our own feelings when we were young. We can sympathize and connect with other people that could be total strangers because of how we grew up.
3. We are more independent when we are children than some adults are now
Being of my ability to sympathize and empathize with a person, I am able to understand finical importance from my parents such as when they would have to be able to make ends meet and having to choose one utility over another because of lack of financial stability. As we get older, the middle children are able to adopt their older siblings attitude and recognize from the younger sibling what not to do. If you were to ask which child is more mature, no matter what, the stereotype of being the middle child will come into play and the middle child will always come out better.
Take Lisa Simpson for example. She is smart and more mature than Bart who is 2 years older than her. She most likely is having a hard time because she is so smart while Maggie gets all the attention from Marge, their mother. In many episodes, it shows that Lisa is having to act more mature in order to be more independent and cause less stress for her parents as well as mature her thinking along the way.
4. Once we are out of our shell, we are the coolest people to know
"I was the classic middle child in some ways, the one who could have been a priest in an alternate universe." - Chiwetel Ejiofor
After getting to college, I have come to know other middle children and that we all have a lot in common. I think that because we never wanted to be the center of attention. We were all more of peacemakers from our families that we know when to sit back, talk up, or stand up for something with patience and understanding, only making a decision after hearing the facts.
Many of the people in my life look to me for advice and solace, which at times can be kind of taxing for me but I still do it because I know things and can help alleviate some of the stress on other people. I always give them open opinions and advice so that my thinking does not veer them to one side or the other. I simply give them information to think on. Nothing more. Nothing less. Our sense of humor is also a bit darker than most but that's a side effect of struggles that most middle children go through.
5. There is a misconception that middle children are crazy and we love it (or maybe its just me)
Ones ability to be able to correct someone is self-satisfying. I have met many that think that because we are the middle child that we are more likely to have anger problems but that is completely WRONG. We know better than that because we act crazy for a reason. It's just that we haven't told anyone the reason yet. When talking to friends, they casually brought up a family and were kind of shocked at first but then my friend said "that explains why you act like you do" and to that, I knew I had successfully got them. Some middle children just act crazy without a particular reason which is reason enough, if they just want to. I think that middle children are the only ones that can act crazy and weird and still be lovable to friends and family.