Being A Middle Child Has Its Ups And Downs But Mostly Downs

Top 5 Ways Being The Middle Child Doesn't Totally Suck

The Middle Child Syndrome is real and its way too accurate.

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My parents wanted a boy really badly and when I say badly, my mother even rubbed a Buddha belly to try and make it happen. A few months later they learned they were having their first child: my older sister. My family has albums full of pictures of her because she is the first born and they showered her with attention and love. Next was me: I was born a year and 1 day after my sister. I have a good number of photos but nowhere a close as my older sister. After me was my little sister and she was truly the most beautiful baby. Both my older sister and I are blue-eyed and have brown hair but my little sister is blue-eyed and has blond hair(she looks like she was adopted but you know... yeah, I'm just jealous). Anyways, she hardly has any pictures from when she was a baby but

Let's get into the logistics of this! I discovered the Middle Child Syndrome years ago and I wanted to cry at how accurate it is.

1. We are usually the one that is more successful (not going to brag but it's true)

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The first born has all the attention so when the second child is born, all the attention goes to her and (even if the first doesn't remember it), they resented the one that interfered with his/her unconditionally and starts doing everything to drag their parent's attention from the second born. Because by virtue of being the oldest, they are more prone to receiving privileges exclusive to her and responsibilities (for the younger sister). The oldest usually feels that since they took care of the middle child that the middle child is capable of taking care of the youngest child. This initially being taken care of by older ten having to care for the youngest is what makes the middle child torn and conflicted. They possess the qualities of never being pampered or given attention as well as having the responsible nature from childhood. This leads to the middle gaining a sense of respect, expectation, and burden that they must excel to gain the love of their parents, no matter what, even going to college.

Think about this: You learn from your older sibling and then have to teach your younger sibling later. It's the reinforcement and is basically programmed to make the middle child smarter. 🧠

2. We are quiet but that is just because we are polite and respectful

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"I am the model middle child. I am patient and I like to take care of everyone. Being called nice is a compliment. It's not a boring way to describe me." - Jennifer Garner

By nature, middle children are more polite and respectful of others feelings, even if deep down we want to flip some of you people off. If you look up the middle child in giphy, you only get a cluster of gifs of people that give you the bird (middle finger). That is literally the middle child vibe, just wanting to be able to flip someone off when they talk about how much they love being the oldest or youngest. We are able to hide what we feel and be the most friendly people in the world.😇

We tend to be more empathetic and sensitive to others feelings since we didn't get a lot of attention and expression of our own feelings when we were young. We can sympathize and connect with other people that could be total strangers because of how we grew up.

3. We are more independent when we are children than some adults are now

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Being of my ability to sympathize and empathize with a person, I am able to understand finical importance from my parents such as when they would have to be able to make ends meet and having to choose one utility over another because of lack of financial stability. As we get older, the middle children are able to adopt their older siblings attitude and recognize from the younger sibling what not to do. If you were to ask which child is more mature, no matter what, the stereotype of being the middle child will come into play and the middle child will always come out better.

Take Lisa Simpson for example. She is smart and more mature than Bart who is 2 years older than her. She most likely is having a hard time because she is so smart while Maggie gets all the attention from Marge, their mother. In many episodes, it shows that Lisa is having to act more mature in order to be more independent and cause less stress for her parents as well as mature her thinking along the way.

4. Once we are out of our shell, we are the coolest people to know

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"I was the classic middle child in some ways, the one who could have been a priest in an alternate universe." - Chiwetel Ejiofor

After getting to college, I have come to know other middle children and that we all have a lot in common. I think that because we never wanted to be the center of attention. We were all more of peacemakers from our families that we know when to sit back, talk up, or stand up for something with patience and understanding, only making a decision after hearing the facts.

Many of the people in my life look to me for advice and solace, which at times can be kind of taxing for me but I still do it because I know things and can help alleviate some of the stress on other people. I always give them open opinions and advice so that my thinking does not veer them to one side or the other. I simply give them information to think on. Nothing more. Nothing less. Our sense of humor is also a bit darker than most but that's a side effect of struggles that most middle children go through.

5. There is a misconception that middle children are crazy and we love it (or maybe its just me)

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Ones ability to be able to correct someone is self-satisfying. I have met many that think that because we are the middle child that we are more likely to have anger problems but that is completely WRONG. We know better than that because we act crazy for a reason. It's just that we haven't told anyone the reason yet. When talking to friends, they casually brought up a family and were kind of shocked at first but then my friend said "that explains why you act like you do" and to that, I knew I had successfully got them. Some middle children just act crazy without a particular reason which is reason enough, if they just want to. I think that middle children are the only ones that can act crazy and weird and still be lovable to friends and family.

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15 Things You Realize As Your Baby Brother Grows Up

No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother.
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Despite the fistfights and days of locking each other out of the house, a little brother is one of the biggest blessings you can receive. Most sisters can agree that they probably bossed their brothers around a lot when they were younger (and probably still do). Most sisters have also most likely forced their brothers to participate in many games that were only enjoyable for one party (baby dolls, house, dress up, etc.)

As a little brother grows up, you start to realize a lot of things as they become your lifelong best friend. Here are 15 of them:

1. He will outgrow you

Even though you were once able to beat him in a wrestling match, and have a fair game of tag, as you get older, he begins to pass you up in size and you realize it probably isn't in your best interest to pick a fight.

2. Teenage boy sass is a real thing

So many times, girls get a bad rep for the teenage phase, but let me tell you, teenage boys have just as much sass if not more than the average hormonal girl. But you also realize that you will get through it, and he is still your sweet brother somewhere deep, deep down.

3. He will go through a phase when he is too cool for you

Your whole life you have been used to your little brother looking up to you and wanting to be just like you and do all the things you do. This probably really annoyed you at some point too and I know I found the words "stop copying me" coming out of my mouth a lot. Don't wish it away, enjoy these times because there hits a point where he will want to do their own thing for a while.

4. He will begin to form his own opinions, and he is actually really smart

He still looks up to you, but there comes a time when he actually starts to contradict and challenge your opinions, and his arguments are surprisingly really good. You learn a lot from your little brother, so start listening to what they have to say sometimes.

5. No girl will ever be good enough for him

When he brings a girl home, you can't help but judge everything about her (no pressure) because to you, no girl will match up to his awesomeness. You know you are annoying, over-controlling, and overly judgmental, but you can't help it, he is your baby brother after all.

6. Regardless of how old or big he gets, if anyone messes with him, you will "beat them up"

I am not a fighter, but somehow anytime someone messes with my little brother, I get the ego of Muhammad Ali and believe that I can beat anyone up. Even now that he has outgrown me by about six inches and 50 pounds and is definitely a lot stronger than me, I still threaten to protect him because for some reason I feel like I can defend him better than he can himself. If anyone shoves him on the soccer field or says something mean to him at school, all of a sudden the big sister is the most intimidating and feisty little 5'4" girl there is out there.

7. He has your back

The once quiet and shy boy you outspoke as a child is not afraid to stand up for you. Even if he knows you're wrong, he is just as protective of you as you are of him and he will always be there for you whether you need a shoulder to cry on, you've had a fight with your friends and need someone to talk to, or a guy blows you off and you just need dairy queen and a movie night.

8. People will think he is your boyfriend and vice versa

As little kids, you were obviously the big sister, but now that he has outgrown you, hit puberty, and matured, people mistake him as your boyfriend all the time. When you go to dinner and get the "You are such a cute couple" comment, you can't help but laugh.

9. All of his academic success is obviously all thanks to you

All the days you forced him to play "school" with you and tried to teach him everything you knew paid off because he actually knows what he is doing now. You're welcome.

10. Every year he turns another year older, you freak out because you remember how old you felt when you were his age, and it is not possible for him to be that old

No, no, no. He is little. He cannot drive just because he is 16. That is scary. (Only you were mature enough and ready to drive at 16.) There is no way that he is already 18 and can vote. You will never get used to the fact that he is growing up at the same pace as you are.

11. He is the one person who defies your theory that you are never wrong

He always has your best interests in mind, so if he disapproves of a guy, or questions a choice you are making, he is most likely right, just listen to him. Seriously, it will save you time in the future.

12. You will always worry about him

Yes, you are annoying and you know he can handle himself, but the thought of him ever getting hurt kills you. Every time he goes out or takes a risk, you worry about him. However, you also know and trust that he is smart and makes good choices, and if he ever doesn't, you will always be here to save the day, duh!

13. You are his biggest fan

And you are absolutely obnoxious at sporting games and other events. You are the first person to yell at the referee when he gets fouled and the loudest person screaming when he scores a goal. You also find yourself bragging about him to your friends because you are just so proud, and you taught him everything he knows (duh, again).

14. He is your best friend

You can tell him anything and he can tell you anything. You guys have a pact and he won't tell your secrets. He's your person, and you have come to find out that he actually gives great advice when you give him the chance to talk.

15. No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother

No matter how old my brother gets, we still say "I love you" every night and he will always be my little baby brother who I watch over and protect, always. I know I have a lifelong best friend who I can lean on during hard times, and celebrate with when the times are good. Bless up.

Special shoutout to my baby brother, Luke, for teaching me so much about myself and always being there for me.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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To The Sister About To Move Away, Girl, You've Got This

You may not physically be here right now, but you're always with our family.

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You were there on the day I was born, somehow sleeping soundly as our mom gave birth to me. I'll never forget the photograph of her presenting me to the world and you sitting beside her, holding up your newly-purchased beanie baby with pride as if being handed this toy was equal to the miracle of birth.

It was a crab, by the way, which somehow makes it funnier.

Growing up, you loved to trick me. You'd make me do chores for you and steal my favorite Barbies, but I think that's just part of being an older sister. I'd stick my tongue out at you and cry out the same phrase, "Mooooom, Sissy is being mean to me!" In fact, I yelled this phrase so often that it began to take on a musical quality.

You were mean at times, but you always had my back. You physically beat up other children that had wronged me, and you let me crawl into your bed so we could watch TV together and exchange stories. We'd often immerse ourselves in fantasy worlds where we were princesses and we rode unicorns side-by-side.

But we grew up, and our fantasy world evaporated like the muddy puddles we'd play in after stormy nights. One second it was there, and then, it was just gone. I remember having a conversation a few years back where we wondered if we had known the last time we played Barbies would, in fact, be our last.

When I was a seventh grader, you were a junior in high school. Our problems were very different back then, but that didn't stop us from talking endlessly about them. We were so similar. We bonded over cheerleading, cute boys, books and music. But even more than that, we bonded over our similar life views and questions about the universe. We both possessed an innate love for life yet we were both distrustful of society's guidelines.

Watching you enter new life phases enthralled me. I thought, Wow, that will be me someday. I danced around the house in each of your four prom dresses, my imagination taking me to a place much grander than a high school gymnasium. Through your stories, I romanticized the future and hoped that I would be as cool as you.

It was a little tough at times, though, always longing for a different part of life. When I entered junior high, all I wanted was to be in high school. When I entered high school, I decided college was much cooler because that's what you said. And you were certainly right about that one.

You were the only one I felt comfortable sharing my writing with, the only one I knew could read the meaning behind my sideways glances. We just got each other in every way.

And we still do. To this day, you are one of the people I love and trust most. I don't know what I am going to do without you by my side, as you've been right there for 20 years. But I'm so proud of you. Of the many things we would lay around and talk about throughout the years, one topic persisted: moving away. Moving used to be a pipe dream, something beautiful that lived in your mind but would never come to pass.

And then you took a chance. And now that dream is a reality.

I want you to know how much I admire you. You are so incredible and resilient. I've never met anyone so strong-minded and willing to fight for what she believes in. You would never compromise yourself or your values for another person, but you are generous with others and so kind-hearted.

You are curious about the world and have a desire to learn about life and the richness it has to offer. That is a special quality that cannot be learned. You are beautiful in every way and are truly a blessing to have as a sister.

And it is from these very qualities and so many others that I know you will do great on your own. Sure, it's super tough at first; nobody said it would be easy. But if anyone can do it, then that person is certainly you.

I will always cherish our moments together, and you can always count on me to be there on the sidelines cheering you on, no matter where your adventure takes you.

Much love,

Your Little Sis

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