According to Snapchat, if horoscopes were real, here is how you would ride the Metro:

1. Virgo

Apparently, Virgo is popular until October 14. See that person trapped in the window seat by a stranger who broke protocol and took the adjacent aisle seat even though there were other open window seats? Probably a Virgo.


2. Libra

For the next few weeks, Libra should “slow down and reflect a bit.” You’ll find them standing on the left side of the escalator, oblivious to the wrath emanating from the sleep-deprived commuters lined up behind them.

3. Scorpio

On the Metro, Scorpio will try to “emphasize team spirit.” They’re most likely to listen to the intercom and move to the center of the car when boarding.

4. Sagittarius

“Magical things” are happening for Sagittarius. Stand behind them on the platform, because you almost can guarantee a car door will stop right in front of them.

5. Capricorn

Capricorn will need to pay special attention this week so they catch “subtle nuances” pointing them in a “slightly different direction.” If you’re headed West on Gray and someone asks you if they should have switched to Blue at Rosslyn, congratulations—you’ve found a Capricorn.

6. Aquarius

“Financial matters” will be on Aquarius’ mind. They’ll probably be jumping over the turnstiles when the security guard isn’t looking, catching side glares from people who’re only angry because they didn’t think of it first.

7. Pisces

“Someone new” could catch Pisces’ eye. If you see someone eyeballing you on the Metro, it could be a Pisces—or a weirdo.

8. Aries

Aries will try to “feel things out rather than” force their way through. Spot them awkwardly pushing through the crowd to exit to their stop.

9. Taurus

“Conversations with others or unlikely coincidences” may inspire Taurus with striking ideas. If randos start up conversation, you can bet it’s a Taurus.

10. Gemini

“Mystical Neptune makes a series of aspects” this week for Gemini. That probably means something important, but for comedy’s sake, we can say it means they’ll be drinking tons of water.

11. Cancer

Cancer has been “gathering a lot of info and ideas recently, and now is the time to synthesize them into a clear vision” of what they most desire.

12. Leo

“Be extra careful with the details” is the advice for Leo. They’ll be the odd ones out not on their phone and pretending the mass of humanity around them doesn’t exist.