Mom Friend: That one friend in your squad that's super responsible and almost over-protective. Usually every friend group has a mom friend, and if you think your squad doesn't have one, then you're probably the Mom Friend! When your roommates come home late at night and you tell them, “Left-overs are in the fridge,” you know (without a doubt) that you are the mom friend. I plead guilty to this. I’m that friend who thinks my squad doesn’t have a mom friend, so I guess that makes me the mom friend. Honestly? I’m so okay with that.

You see, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a mom friend. It means two things: one, my own mom did an amazing job at raising me; I’ve obviously learned a thing or two from her, and two, I’m going to be an amazing mom to my own kids one day (fingers crossed). I guess I can add a third point to this list: my current friends can enjoy the love and support of my mom-friendliness when their own moms aren’t around. I see no problem here.

Being the mom friend doesn’t make me a boring friend; it makes me a responsible friend. I can still have fun. If I go out on Friday night with my friends, my “mom friend” title is not stopping me from enjoying a drink or two. But before I have a third or fourth, I’ll make sure my friends are safe first. I care more about their wellbeing than mine. I know I can take care of myself, and I want to be able to take care of my girls while we’re out. After all, it’s my job. I trust myself to keep them safe, but I also encourage them to have fun. I’ll sacrifice my next rum and Coke if it means they get to let loose and have fun.

Now, if my roommate is sick, I go into full mom-mode. I have a medicine cabinet in my bedroom that I rush to when I hear that first sniffle or sneeze. The constant questions of “Are you feeling okay?” and “Let me take your temperature” and “Sit down; I’m going to get you some medicine” begin. I’m prone to catching every nasty cold that comes my way, so I know how amazing it is to have someone take care of me. Of course, I’m going to do the same with my friends. I load them up on over-the-counter meds and tell them to lie down and rest. My compassion? I got it from my mama.

As the mom friend, I have to be strict (but only sometimes)! When my friends are about to make dumb decisions, I’ll bring it to their attention. I’m not afraid to tell my friends how it is. I never sugar coat advice or opinions. If my friend wants to go out tonight but has a paper due tomorrow, I’ll tell her to spend the night in the library and forfeit a night of partying because her education and success is infinitely more important than a couple of beers and a hangover. And if my friend is waist-deep in drama, I’ll pull them out of it and scold them for stepping into it in the first place. As the mom friend, I won’t always be the friend; my friends will be mad at me sometimes, but I can handle a day of my friends ignoring me if it means I’ve helped them in any way. My advice, while solid, will not always be what they want to hear, but it’s my job to be brutally honest with them.

I have my own mom to thank for this. She taught me how to respect myself and my friends. She taught me how to believe in myself and how to accept everyone and all of their imperfections. She taught me how to make smart decisions, but she also parented me when I made bad ones. She was (and will always be) my mom and best friend all wrapped up into one amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman.

I promise to be that person to all of my friends and my own future children. I may tell them things they don’t want to hear, and I may upset them at times, but I hope they know that everything I do is out of the kindness of my heart.

A message to my friends, my ride-or-dies, my people: I promise to be there for you when you need me—even if you call me at 3 a.m. needing advice. I promise to respect you, love you and support you through all of your highs and lows. But, above all, I promise to remain your friend ‘til then end of time. I love you all so much. Thank you for making me a better person.