Dear dad,
I know when I was young I didn’t understand you not being around much. I still wish you had been around more. But I understand what goes on behind the scenes more than you probably want me to know. It’s OK, I can handle it. You had to know I would find out eventually. I know you were trying to protect me from things even you didn't like dealing with.
I am always for stepping up to the plate even when it is hard. Work is a bit different in my eyes than stepping up to the plate, I guess. Or maybe over the years I matured. I still have some work to do, but you gave me a good work ethic.
I know it is hard for you to understand why I enjoy spending time with you, but it is important to me. You didn’t fail me, just the country wasn’t for me at the time. Maybe I will enjoy it later in life. I actually do miss the crickets and fireflies as well as the stars at night. But at the time, the city was what I needed. Ideally, I would have gone to school in Gorham still. I still think it is a better school system. I was allowed to be me there, but I did get help for my issues over time in the city and that is a good thing.
I know it is hard for you to see me with issues, but trust me they are there. I have your strength, which helps me deal with them. I also have your stubbornness that makes me refuse to give up conquering them. You also never let me use it as a crutch, which I thankful for. It has helped me get far in life.
I’m trying my best to make myself into something you and my son can be proud of in the end. It just takes time. We don’t always agree, and that is to be expected. You raised me to have an opinion and defend it fiercely. That is one thing you and mom had in common when raising me.
I know what it is like to have the world on my shoulders — it gets heavy. Share some of your burdens with me. I don’t mind helping out where I can. When I get married again you will be there for it. I made sure to pick a date that is a federal holiday so no work for you.
I know you don’t like writing dad, so maybe you could make an audio recording instead. I am trying to get all the family history I can in one big collection. It is very important to me. I want our records preserved for future generations. I just need the audio and I will write it all down verbatim. I know you are not a phone talker, but maybe if you got an email address we could email back and forth. I’m just trying to think of better ways for us to communicate when we are not face to face.
Family is important to me, dad, because I only get to see my family for a limited time. I want to make the most of it. I know I shut you out for a while. I’m sorry for that, and I am glad we have gotten back to talking and working on our relationship as father and son. Admittedly, it is not always smooth sailing, but I am going to keep working at it until it gets to where we would like to be. I hope this finds you well; forgive me for being so public with my feelings about you dad. I know you are private, but I am not. When I start having to do bus tours you are coming with me. Would do you good to see some of the country. Come visit soon please. I love you dad.
Love your son,
Christopher Charles Bartlett
