Expressing what goes through the mind when anxiety hits is simply indescribable. There aren't words to suffice and there isn't a physical way to express it.
Depression is always people around you telling you to think more positively and be more optimistic. I wish it was that easy…
Photo by Hadis Safari
In the human mind, when anxiety is present, it's like experiencing a battle that will never end. There's no right way - every way is the wrong way. Imagine an argument that went on with someone for days and days; eventually, something has to give, and someone needs to apologize and admit they're wrong. Right?
Anxiety is the door that won't open to a solution behind it. It's the never-ending argument that no one admits they're wrong in. It's never knowing which route is the right one, never finding the rainbow at the end of the yellow brick road.
Photo by Jaroslav Devia
Depression is waking up and wishing I didn't have to get out of bed that day to do anything, even to shower or use the restroom. It's not wanting to leave the only place that I want to be, not wanting to interact with anyone, not even family. It's wishing days would get better, but knowing deep down that they may very well not.
These two together are usually a recipe for disaster.
As a full-time college student with a part-part-time job, it can be difficult to juggle everything. Needing good marks for my classes, needing money in my pocket for bills, and wanting a social life and to be with friends and family can really add up after a little while. Once it starts a small pile, it just gets taller and taller until an explosion. And that's where panic attacks and anxiety attacks come in.
Panic attacks come at the most inconvenient times and can be very detrimental and damaging to mental health. Since they're uncontrollable and unpredictable, they can happen when least expected, i.e. in public places. Having personally experienced many in my lifetime, I can openly admit to sobbing hysterically and crying all of my makeup off of my face at work, at the doctor's office, and during class. Panic attacks consist of heavy and uneven breathing, crying, racing heart and thoughts, and shaky hands. It feels as if the oxygen will run out and can last from 30 seconds to minutes at a time. Having had panic attacks that last 15-20 minutes, it is easy to admit that they're one of the most terrible things ever.
Photo by Gabriel Matula
Anxiety attacks can be very similar but can be over different types of problems. When a situation makes one feel like there's no way out and as if the corners are closing in, there's room for harsh thoughts and mental instability. Anxiety attacks can be minor or major. This means that some people can have anxiety attacks while being very quiet and reserved and there are those that have their anxiety attacks who have a breakdown and are unable to calm down. Anxiety attacks can be provoked in very easy and mild situations but can tear someone down on the inside.
Photo by Morgan Basham
Anyone out there who may be suffering from a mental illness of any kind - anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, etc. - there is a tremendous amount of love and comfort for you. You're never alone, no matter how empty this world may seem. There are plenty of other fish in the sea who are suffering as well. Even though these mental illnesses really suck, we're all suffering together at least. There will always be a reaching hand to help us to stand back up. Whether we choose to take it or leave it is purely our decisions. Sometimes, just knowing we're not alone is comforting enough.
