My Clinical Depression Is NOT The Same As Your Everyday Sadness
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Health and Wellness

My Clinical Depression Is NOT The Same As Your Everyday Sadness

Do you have a mental illness or just a commonly confused doppelgänger?

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My Clinical Depression Is NOT The Same As Your Everyday Sadness
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Mental illness is a concept that has become much more talked about and understood over the years.

It used to be something to shame someone for, send them for extreme medical procedures over, or even just ignore completely. While some of those reactions still hold true to this day, mental illness has become much more accepted as an actual illness, which is great...YAY.

But like everything else in life, there is always a low to every high. With the popularity and growing chit-chat of mental illness, it has almost become a "trend" to be mentally ill.

Now, I'm not saying being mentally ill is some "elite club that not everyone can be in", and I know that there has actually been an increase in diagnoses (1 in 4 people are diagnosed with mental illness), however, when people claim to have one of these serious disorders (when in all reality they are just facing a temporary nuisance* in their life), it has a tendency to cause the actual victims of the illnesses to be pushed to the side, called "overdramatic", or not be taken seriously.

*DISCLAIMER: When I say "temporary nuisance" I am not saying their problems or feelings are any lesser or unimportant, all I am saying is they are just that... temporary.

With all that being said, I think I would like to introduce you all to my mental illnesses and their often mixed-up dopplegangers.

1. Depression

To me, depression is not being able to get out of bed some days because my mind is literally too drained. It is sad, it is mad, it is confused, it is hopeless, it is even numb sometimes. I have no appetite on these days. I seclude myself from my loved ones. I tell myself that everyone would be better off without me. I make a list of things in my head that I have done wrong and how annoying I must be to those around me. Some nights I think about how easy it would be to just end it all right there, but lucky for me I also know that is never the answer, however some are not as fortunate. Sometimes it is not even just a day, sometimes is lasts weeks, sometimes months, I never can tell how it is going to be each time, but it always absolutely draining.

Doppleganger: Sadness

Sadness is when something bad happens and I cry, and I yell, and I ask the world "why". It is when I just want to curl up in bed, with my dog, and watch my favorite movie to cheer me up. This can also last an unknown amount of time. It is also very unfortunate, but it is not depression.

2. Anxiety

Because of my anxiety (and depression), I have to take medicine every morning to keep it under control. I also have to carry around my "heavy duty" pills everywhere I go just in case an anxiety attack decides to make an appearance. My anxiety also causes me to cry and hyperventilate over something as simple as making a phone call. I transferred colleges THREE times because my anxiety over being away from home, having to meet new people, and jump outside my comfort zone was outrageous. My anxiety causes me to text my friends right after hanging out with them, sobbing, asking them if they still want to be my friend, or if I was too annoying while hanging out. My anxiety keeps me up at night thinking about what happened in the past and what might happen in the future. My mind is constantly racing with "what if's". There is never truly a sense of relief with anxiety.

Doppleganger: Scared/nervous/stressed

When I have a big project coming up, I feel stressed. My mind feels boggled and overwhelmed and I kind of just want to cry. When I have a job interview I have butterflies in my stomach and I am scared and nervous and twitchy. However, once the "inconvenience" is done, I am okay and I feel a sense of relief. It comes and it goes and all is right in the world once again.

3. OCD-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I have a very mild case of OCD, however, it's still terribly annoying. At night, I need to brush my teeth shower wash my face, let the dog out, check the back door, check the front door, check the garage door, fluff my pillows, put them in their exact spot on the bed, straighten out my blankets, shut all doors, turn off all lights, put on lotion, put on chapstick, drink a glass of ice water. If ONE of these things is missed, I will not and can not sleep. I will tell myself "it's not that important. Just go to sleep" but then mind will convince me that by skipping putting lotion on my hands, something terrible will happen to me. Before I leave the house I STARE at my hair straightener to make sure it's turned off and unplugged. I stand there staring at it for a solid two minutes telling myself "it's unplugged, it's unplugged, it's unplugged", because if I don't, my mind will convince me that something horrible will happen to a loved one if I am not 100000000% sure it is unplugged. This goes for locking doors, turning off the oven, closing at work, reading instructions, and more and more and more.

Doppleganger: Neat/Tidy

I love my room to be neat and tidy and everything has a place. I like things to be organized a certain way and done in a particular manner. I like patterns to be symmetrical and eye pleasing. If these things are not done they bother me, but they are not OCD tendencies.

Now I'm not saying that people who experience only the doppleganger are not allowed to be upset. I am not saying their problems are any lesser. I am just simply pointing out the differences. While the two may look exactly the same on the outside, I promise you that on the inside that are absolutely different.

Now I also know it is good to be able to laugh at myself. So I am all for over-dramatic statements for comedic purposes such as "Ugh I am literally so depressed. One Direction is not getting back together." I can appreciate humor like that...because c'mon...Harry Styles.

However, when people genuinely claim to have illnesses that they do not have, it is frustrating because it takes away credibility from those that actually have it. To anyone that can relate to any of this post...I am so very sorry. I wish you well and encourage you to keep on fighting, you strong unicorn warrior. To anyone that is offended by this, I did not want this to be an attack on anyone. It is simply an article to spread awareness and open eyes.

Mental illness is real sickness and is not just an over dramatization of other very real emotions.

LET'S ALL JUST BE A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON FOR ONE ANOTHER, OKAY?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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