I first started experiencing symptoms related to anxiety and depression when I was in high school to the point where it became a problem that disrupted my thinking, behavior and my outlook on life. Oftentimes the fear or hesitation I would experience from my anxiety left me feeling debilitated, abnormal and displaced. I transferred to an alternative school that helped me cope with my anxiety with manageable school schedules and workloads, and I was able to be much more successful.

A couple years ago in college, I started experiencing depression in a much more intense way than I had before. I started doing and thinking things that were extremely harmful to me mentally and to my self-esteem and self-confidence. My grandmother passed away in 2013 and the year and a half after that I struggled immensely with fighting off the depression I dealt with due to a number of things.

The scariest part was not the actual behavior and thoughts that I had, but the feeling that it would never go away.

I couldn’t even remember how I “got over” or dealt with it when I experienced it years before so I would have anxiety about not feeling or doing better. What a way to reinforce the depression—having anxiety about being depressed and not understanding why, and feeling depressed that I felt anxious and upset.

To those who have or are currently dealing with depression and/or anxiety, you are probably well aware that dealing with something like this can be a chronic state of mind that requires vigilance and dedication to combating because sometimes it truly can be a daily battle and you have to be equipped with the proper tools and knowledge to fight it.

Here are a few points that I hope will give you encouragement.

If you have dealt with it before, know that when/if you experience it again, you can know the triggers.
For example, we all have “sensitive spots” that when triggered, can send us into a certain mindset or thinking pattern that we know we shouldn’t be in. Recognize what sends you into this pattern and ways you can get out of it.

Don’t just recognize what your triggers are, but why they are your triggers. There are some things we cannot prevent—such as the behavior of others or a death or tragedy in the family. However, we can change how we react to every situation we face. No one is playing puppet with us—we are able to produce our own thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes certain scenarios or even songs can send us into a frame of mind. If that’s the case, then be sure you know how you’re going to react before you intentionally put yourself in a bad place.

You are in Control:
One of the major things that gave me anxiety a couple years back was feeling out of control. I felt easily overwhelmed and I would feel an insatiable desire to run away or isolate myself. Don’t do that.
There’s a difference between having personal time and isolating yourself.

Don’t let others’ opinions about what you face cause you to further insulate yourself. Everyone faces a struggle; most people face constant struggles in some form, and it’s not up to any one of us to say it’s not a struggle just because we haven’t or won’t face it ourselves. Our job isn’t even to try to understand every struggle, but just to accept that there are struggles we probably will never understand, but by being accepting of it, we are making it that much easier for the other person to deal with.

There may be some days you will want to distract yourself from dealing with the struggles and will not want to talk about them, and that’s okay. But don’t tell yourself that you won’t be or do better. We grow because of what we face, not in spite of it.
We are who we are because of who we’ve been, and it’s okay to struggle. There’s beauty in the ugliness of every struggle, because we are moving forward. And sometimes just keeping our eyes focused ahead is the best thing we can do.