I Learned The Most About Myself, While Being By Myself

I Learned The Most About Myself, While Being By Myself

Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely.
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Sure, this quote is so cliché, "you learn the most about yourself while being by yourself" and I absolutely hate cliché sayings, however I'm going to have to reiterate this one and dedicate an entire article to it in hope for everyone to understand there are positive aspects of being alone that many people overlook.

I learned to like/appreciate alone time

I used to always think I was the most myself while in a big group or with my close friends or my significant other, which all may be true cases, however, I lacked spending time with myself and realizing I can appreciate myself with others not around too. In my last relationship, I constantly wanted to spend time with my partner which didn't always work out. In this case, it was easy to get down on myself and feel lonely, or when all my friends would say they're busy I would sometimes take it personally. I've just recently had the realization that I don't always have to be doing something to be happy. In fact, since spending more time on my own I realized I am comfortable with science and don't need the voice of others to keep me company. I appreciate the moments now when I can just plan my own day and live it without the worrying of what others may be doing. There are so many activities that involve major me time that I didn't appreciate while being in a relationship, like going for runs, listening to music, taking baths, and writing.

I learned to appreciate my friends more

As nice as it is having a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is much nicer surround yourself with friends. Your friends are the people who literally put up with all your crap and still chose to spend time with you, compliment you, and make sure you are at your best always. While boyfriends and girlfriends can do all those things there is still a major difference between the relationship a friend can offer. Being in a relationship it is so easy to spend the majority of your free time together and even though it might not seem like it, we put our friends to the side when it comes to dividing our time with one another. This is one of the things I regret most out of my past relationships. I didn't realize I was doing it in the moment but I will admit I chose my relationships over my friends in many situations and I wish I didn't. I wish I would have focused more time with my friends creating memories while we're still young because I have the rest of my life to find a man to live with and spend my life with. Friendships are so important especially at a young age because there are so many fun things to do that only friends can share the moments with. I want to look back at photos and memories when I'm old and see my friends to bring back the good memories not see my ex-boyfriends and bring back bad ones and feel awkward. I now appreciate how patient my friends have been with me as I never liked to listen to them and take their advice, trust me when I say your friends really do know best. I appreciate the times I would vent to them about all my problems and they would listen for hours. I appreciate all their extra effort they would put into making me feel better because of stupid boys and I realize how annoying I may have been but this all is just another reminder of how much my friends care about me and how lucky I am.

I learned to love myself more

Being in a relationship it is so easy to rely on your significant other and hope they give you love and affection but sometimes that fades and when it does it sucks. It sucks relying on someone to boost your self-confidence and no one should have to rely on anyone in that way. The best way to boost self-confidence is simply by promoting self-love. I've learned that no matter who has walked in and walked out of my life I will no longer let anyone affect the way that I feel about myself. It's easy to think certain ways about ourselves because of the things other people say to us or the way they treat us, but that is a crazy way of living life. I've learned we should live our lives to please only ourselves because at the end of the day that is who will be there for you. In life, there is so much pressure to fit a certain standard and my mind has now completely squashed that Idea. The only standard I want to fit is my own, no boys, no girls just my own. In fact, I don't even have certain standards that I now want to make because I respect myself enough to know what I deserve. I love the way I look at life and the views I have especially more so now that I have no one to disagree with them, or at least I won't allow anyone to. Loving yourself is 100 percent not selfish and 100 percent necessary to live life happy.

I learned I am mature for my age which is a blessing and a curse

I think I've always had a leader type personality, and in a relationship, this can be looked down on. Ending relationships is never fun, the encounters are awkward and exes try and make each other jealous however this was never my forte. I was taught to always love people and to never hate and I carried that over into my relationships and ending of them as well. Coming out of my relationships, I've learned not everyone has the same mindset I do and situations have been blown out of proportion because of hate and jealousy and basically just an immature way of handling things. It sucks being so mature for my age because I then get mocked and laughed at by people my age, not many people my age handle things in the way I do but I know I am handling things in the right way. Even though I don't get to make sassy comments and say things that are funny and immature I am proud of how I handle issues and carry myself.

I learned I don't need someone else to live my life happily

It's always nice to have someone to tell everything to, to cuddle up to, and to do life with, but if you haven't found the right person for you yet that's OK too. I always depend on people too much and like attention but I'm starting to realize I don't need the attention of others to feel happy and worth something. I like being able to do things on my own, work on my own and make myself proud. It's nice to tell people how proud I am of myself and it doesn't have to be a significant other I have realized. I know I have a great support system of friends and family and now even from myself feeling the most confident I have been in a while. I feel as if though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I don't rely on anyone else or have to constantly keep up with someone who wasn't trying to keep up with me. I am proud of the person I have become and I am happy to learn even more about myself and especially learn to love myself before I love anyone else.

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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To The Senior Graduating High School In A Month

"What feels like the end, is often the beginning."
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It wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. Just a little over a year ago, I was the senior that had a month left. One month left in the hometown that I grew up in. One month left with the friends that I didn’t want to leave. One month left in the place that I had called “my school” for the past four years. You are probably thinking the same things I thought whenever it came down to only 30 days left. You’re probably scared, nervous, worried, or anxious. Maybe you’re like me and are dying to get out of high school, ready to start a new chapter. Or maybe you aren’t so ready yet. Maybe you’re wishing for a little more time.

As scary as it is, this month you have left will fly by. You’ll blink and you’ll be standing in your cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma. You’ll look back on your last four years at your school and wonder why time went by so fast. It’ll be bittersweet. However, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to. You are about to begin taking the steps to build your future. You are going to grow and learn so much more than any high school class could teach you. You are going to meet amazing people and accomplish amazing things. So, as scared as you might be, I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfort zone and face this world head on. Chase your dreams and work towards your goals. You are smart. You are brave. You are capable of achieving amazing things. All your life, the lessons you have learned have prepared you for this point in your life. You are more than ready.

There are times when you will feel alone, scared, or confused. There are times when it won’t always be easy. But those are the times when you will shine the most because I know you will work through whatever problems you may face. Don’t think of the bad times as a terrible thing. Use them all as learning experiences. As author Joshua Marine once said, “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

You might think that this is the end. However, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Trust me when I say that the adventures and opportunities you are about to face are nothing compared to high school. Whether you are going to college, going to work, or something else, this is the beginning of your journey called life. It will be exciting, it will be terrifying, but it will all be worth it.

So, as you walk out of your high school for the very last time, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Relax. You’ll always have the memories to look back on from high school. But your time is now, it begins today. Embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1152445/images/o-HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION-facebook.jpg

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I Would Advise You To Keep My Name Out Of Your Mouth If You Have Never Met Me

College is hard enough without having to endure drama from people you've never met.

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The first year of college is one of the most trying times for anyone. It's the first time that you're fully independent of your parents, where you have to wake yourself up for your classes because your roommate probably doesn't have your exact schedule, you eat when the spirit moves you, and you prioritize your time in any way you want. College is a time of growth, where you leave behind your 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. high school experience and have to start over.

Yet, I've realized that some people can't leave high school behind, and bring with them the petty drama and unnecessary rumors that littered the halls of high school and spread like wildfire. There is a consistent stream of gossip and preconceived notions that ruin a potential future relationship between two people, all because someone decided that a rumor they heard about someone else was worth sharing.

I understand why people hold on to the drama that is caused when other people decide to gossip. But, for the people who learn about their reputation from their friends, because someone decided to share it with them and, being a good friend, they told them what someone had said, it's hard. College is the first time where you get to go out on your own and live life as a semi-functioning adult, and no one wants to be dragged back to their high school experience.

For the people who bring high school to college with them and the people who believe rumors about someone even if they haven't met that person, you need to get over yourself. It is not fair to the people about whom you're talking. Imagine if it happened to you. College is a challenging time, the coursework is more difficult and there is no one there to tell you what to do with your time. It is hard enough to balance academic coursework with a social life and extracurricular activities, not including being able to maintain strong mental health. Although it can be heartbreaking to hear rumors that have been said, it can show you who your true friends are. There are a lot of people you meet when starting college who seem like they could be your best friends, but as soon as you turn your back, they're whispering about you. There is no doubt in my mind that my close friends would be the first to speak up on my behalf if they heard something negative about me. And that means more to me than a reputation.

It's easier said than done not to let rumors and other people's perception affect you. The difference being let it hurt you and accepting that there's nothing you can do are two very separate things. But what other people think of you is something that is entirely outside of your control, and all that you can really do is decide not to let it be known that it bothers you. You have every right to be upset if you hear something negative about yourself, especially if it isn't true or something you did has been blown out of proportion. There is no definitive list of traits that a person can have to be strong, and there is not a list of actions that you can take in order to move on from being hurt by rumors. But the most important thing that you can do for yourself is to move on. To make sure that you are happy and comfortable in your own skin. It may seem like a burden to fully accept yourself and like every single thing about yourself. No one is perfect.

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