Dedicated and inspired by conversations with my friend, Rachel Arone.
Hello there, I'm sorry to hear about what's happened. Yet another woman--beautiful on the inside and out--used for the benefit of someone who hadn't the capabilities of fully appreciating all that you are. The point at which it ended may have been filled with tears mistaken for sadness. You're finally on your own, yet you're crying--not out of sadness that's ended, but relief that it's really over now.
This has been happening for such a long time, dear. You've put in so much time and effort--you may feel stupid and ashamed. Don't. It's not your fault, it's all on him for treating you this way. He took advantage of you and your emotions, but you cared too much about him to acknowledge the ugliness standing before your eyes. Not an ugliness on the outside, but deep-seated ugliness that festers in his heart and mind. Forgive my language, but he's a sh*tty person--an a**hole, if you will. Swear your head off, if that helps! You're allowed to cry, to release all of the emotional tension that's been building and building over time.
Let yourself cry and let it go. You'll feel better in a short while, no doubt about that.
You were made to believe he was a different person. He hid the ugliness away from you--buried it, locked it up out of sight--at the beginnings of your relationship, only to reveal the monster within when he knew he had you in his grasp. You were in love with him at that point, it's not your fault for the blindness that took over.
Now you have more energy and mental reserve to focus on developing a full, complete life on your own. Spend some more time with yourself. Move forward with newfound insight on what it means to be loved and appreciated--and what it means to be treated like that. You're not weak. You're so strong for enduring this treatment, even if you couldn't cut him off. At least one of you had the decency to break it off--if it was him, at least he was able to do that much for you.
You may have been like me and thought the fact that you're such a loving, wonderful person would preclude that sort of treatment. It doesn't. In fact, when you're too nice, people often take advantage of you--people like him.
Know that you're in my heart, and I know exactly what you're going through. You will be okay, and on to bigger, better things in life.