Growing up, respect was one of the first lessons I ever learned. How to treat my elders, how to respect anyone who comes into my life, but the biggest lesson was how I should respect myself. I respect my mind and how beautifully unique it is, how I should respect my body and not eat junk food, etc. As I grew older, I was taught one very important lesson: I should respect myself enough not to sleep around, talk to too many guys, and I should avoid doing anything of that sort. That was ingrained in my mind and society has helped with that.
I'm 21 years old, a female, and I'm calling bullshit!
Why should I or any female be subject to this kind of double standard? I was also taught that if women do sleep around, they are considered sluts or whores. Men, on the other hand, are considered Heroes, Gods, Kings. If they do sleep around, then their boys congratulate them. In their eyes, there is nothing wrong with living like that. And no, there isn't anything wrong with it. It's their life. What I am saying is: Why don't y'all respect yourselves enough not to be "that guy?"
I've always been warned about 'that guy' but I've never feared him, despite what people have told me about his type. I've never feared him because I have come to understand that people do not act the way they do because of nothing. There is a reason why we are all the way we are. The way we act, dress, the partners we choose; we have been built a certain way and life adds pieces to that. The people who treat us like we're nothing, it's because they themselves feel like nothing. "That guy," that we have all met, was not born to be like that. I do take that into consideration, but that doesn't give them the right to be gross or rude.
We as females are taught to value ourselves to a high standard but for some reason, men aren't. You can turn on the TV, watch a movie, read a book or even listen to music. It's all the same. Men are shown to be promiscuous. I've met a lot of really great men in my life and not all of them are like that. But those same guys know how a woman should be treated. They know her value and that she isn't here for pleasure only.
I do not care what you do with your life. If it's not directly affecting me, I don't care. I don't think there is anything wrong with being promiscuous. It's your body. Do with it what you want. Coming from a female perspective and having the mindset of what all we have been taught, for some of us it's hard to understand why you do what you do. I've also come to understand, more often than not, that some guys use intimacy as an excuse to feel something. That they are only worth a one night stand and nothing else. They use it to fill a void and to have that kind of attention.
So if any guys are actually reading this, don't settle to be 'that guy.' You can be better than that and you are more than capable of doing so. You deserve to have real love.
