Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. As a child, I recall having to blink a certain amount of times when looking at a specific object. My friends and family would laugh asking why I would do it, thinking it was just me being the awkward, silly kid I was. Now I realize it was more than that, I blank because I was afraid something bad would happen if I did not, I was afraid I could get hurt in some odd way. This seems incredibly irrational, correct? That is exactly what OCD is, having irrational fears in which one cannot control, and believes the fear can end by doing an equally irrational compulsion.
I was officially diagnosed in 9th grade, doctors said it was ADD before, but I knew that was ridiculous because I never looked out the window for 3 hours straight looking at a butterfly. After seeing a therapist for 5 years, I have been able to reduce fears and compulsions, but I know it will never leave, and I accept that and I am happy. Another thing I have learned to accept that will never leave is ignorance, blind ignorance. I usually did not tell people that I have OCD, but now I accept it. Telling people was something I would never do because a usual first response is, “OMG! Me too! I LOVE organizing! I’m so neat! If I don’t get the perfect amount of sugar in my coffee I literally can’t even and I FREAK out!” OMG, Really? Do you have 2 hour panic attacks where you have actual trouble breathing? No? Congratulations, you are the lucky many who do not suffer from OCD. I say suffer because that is how to know if a person actually has OCD, they suffer from it. OCD sufferers, like myself, are not generally proud of having the disorder, because it hurts us, it makes daily living difficult. If a person is wearing their “OCD” like a badge of honor they won in girl scouts, they do not have OCD.
During my years with this disorder, I began to find the reasons upon why people are treating mental disorders as a fun quirk. People make diagnosing mental disorders a simple thing, like they are Lucy van Pelt from Peanuts and anyone can simply become a therapist for 5 simple cents. Obviously, it is not true, but people treat mental disorders as a simple thing, when they are not. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not the only one, it is a frequently used slang to say “stop being Bipolar” or “why is she depressed?” It is easy to do, I do it and I begin to catch myself. Mental disorders are treated less seriously than they truly are. Because of stereotypes, Bipolar disorder is frequently thought of when someone becomes elated, too suddenly they want to throw a brick at someone’s face for no apparent reason. The disorder actually lasts for a long period, one can be extremely happy for many months, then suddenly depressed for longer. A person with a mental disorder despises not being taken seriously. I would like to speak up about this in large groups, but it is easy to not be taken seriously.
To make a clearer explanation, if I do hear a person make a remark about having a mental disorder when they do not, I will not scream in their ear and key their car, because it is not their fault, they do not know better. If I know the person well, I will happily sit the person down and explain to them what OCD is. Throughout the years, humor made the disorder simpler to understand for non-sufferers, which is ironic because of how terrifying it is. And I am okay with that, because that humor makes mental disorder sufferers feel safe in life, which is a large leap for mankind, and I will re-check that leap multiple times to make sure it was large enough.
