I walked into a local coffee shop to meet a friend I hadn't seen in months. I sat at the bar and immediately pulled out my phone to avoid looking awkward. The "bartenderista" (yes, I just coined that term) asked me if I was waiting for someone. I nodded curtly and went back to scrolling through my Instagram feed. Five long minutes later, I looked up to find the bartender smiling calmly and asking how my day was going so far. I answered him, but the nonchalant questions kept coming and eventually, we were in a full blown conversation. How novel! A substantial conversation with a complete stranger!
Finally, my friend showed up and found a seat at the bar next to mine. We both ordered coffee and proceeded to catch up. I rambled on about some boy things were complicated with and she went on about her own struggles. The bartender chimed in at random with some sassy and worldly advice until somehow we ended up in a heated yet civil debate over politics, religion, and relationships. We found out that he spoke several languages and even knew some words in a few Indian languages. We learned about the several degrees he had and what his dreams were for the next few years. And about an hour after the shop was supposed to close, we left, feeling strangely smaller relative to the world, and at peace with ourselves.
And in the weeks following this coffee date, we returned to the same shop, only to keep learning more and more about this bartender. We found out how he had his heart broken by the woman he was going to propose to, and we soaked in his advice about boys and love and self-worth. He'd gotten used to my water alarm by then and kept refilling my water every hour.
If I can take anything of value from this refreshing encounter, it's the following:
1. Everyone is consumed with their own highly unique and complicated lives.
Cut the people you meet some slack. You never know who's just had their heart or dreams shattered.
2. Putting your phone down for a few minutes and embracing being alone can result in striking up an interesting conversation with a stranger.
Your Instagram feed will be there when the conversation is over.
3. People are doing awesome things with their lives while you're being a potato.
People are traveling to faraway destinations and reading life changing books. They're following their passions and hitting the gym. All the while, you're hitting the "next episode" button on Netflix.
