It's the holiday season again. Time for family, relaxing, ABC Family every single night, Michael Bublé's Christmas CD, and meeting your significant other's parents. This is one of the first and most terrifying steps in every serious relationship. You can stomp your feet and puff your chest out about how you don't need his/her parents to like you, but you kind of do. This is still happening. Your significant other respects his/her parents and their opinions, and has loved them much longer than he/she has loved you, so sorry, but they need to at least tolerate you.
If the parents like you, this actually has a bit of a selfish angle. Your significant other's feelings about you will most likely get stronger. When you notice sweet-faced mom plop down next to her son or daughter and start whispering and pointing at you with a smile on her face, you know you're in (if she has a scowl, you may want to locate your nearest exits).
You just want their parents to know you care about their son or daughter. That's really all. They've done their job dealing with their child's weird habits and often stupid sense of humor-- now it's your turn, and they want to know that he/she is in good hands.
They also probably want to know you're not a raging alcoholic or shooting heroine in your spare time. But you know, some parents may like that. To each their own.
1. Present yourself well.
Do not show up in that t-shirt with the pizza stain or those jeans with the hole in the crotch. Dress nicely, like you're going to an interview (because in essence, you are). Shower. Brush your teeth. Put on some perfume or cologne. Ladies, don't do that stupid half bun on the top of your head and guys, put some gel in your hair. Or don't. Just make it look presentable, not like a bird is nesting in that mess you call hair. And please, please, don't forget deodorant.
2. Introduce yourself.
Naturally, you'll want to be a fly on the wall and do that awkward shy smile, but you can't do that here. Don't wait for your significant other to say, "This is (name)." Be a grown up, take initiative. And after the initial name exchange, don't forget to say, "It's so nice to meet you," or something along those lines. This is only stressful if you make it that way-- treat them like you would any other respectable adult, and not like they're two ticking time bombs, and it'll make things easier. They're not so relaxed about this either, remember that.
3. Embrace the awkward.
Even with your best friend in the entire world, conversational lapses still happen. It's normal, and will definitely happen, and I'm not going to lie to you, it's deathly awkward. Like, I-want-crawl-in-a-hole-and-never-come-out kind of awkward. Don't freak out. Acknowledge it-- a bashful smile or a harmless joke may ease you all out of this situation (WARNING: be careful with jokes, that is for the trained jokester, not for amateurs).
4. Avoid all clichés.
In the name of all things holy, do not wait for your significant other to go to the bathroom and pull out the "I'll take care of her" speech in that weird, whispery tone. Do not do it; it's only okay in movies because it's a movie. Be real and honest, but probably not too honest. Let them get to know you for you (well, the best side of you first), so that they can happily ask their son or daughter, "When is (name) coming over again?"
5. Crush the closer.
Again, don't pull the "thank you for giving birth to such a wonderful light in this dark world and allowing me to have this light in my life" or whatever that is. Be genuine (and normal)-- thank them for a nice evening, repeat how nice it was to meet them, and say that you hope to see them again soon. Then get the hell out of there and give yourself a high five, because you just survived meeting the parents.
