Don't Measure Your Life In Coffee Spoons

Don't Measure Your Life In Coffee Spoons

He didn’t tell me to live according to any clock or calendar, He just told me to live.
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At the end of 2016, I wrote a long letter to myself about everything that happened that year. I recorded everything that took place, in detail, from that year. Since then, every end of the year I’ve written a page or two on what events took place. I turn twenty years old this week and I'm realizing that I don’t want to measure my life in years. I don’t want to live according to months and weeks. I don’t want to live thinking, “today is Wednesday, the week is almost over, I should be in a good mood by then.”

I don’t want to be like J. Alfred Prufrock when he complains, “For I have known them all already, known them all: Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” I like coffee, but to measure my life by the number of days I’m alive is so dull and monotonous. Of course in T.S. Eliot’s poem, there exists a man who has many complaints about the life in which he lives. I don’t compare my thoughts entirely with his. However, I do find myself sometimes focusing too much on things that don’t deserve my undivided attention. I compartmentalize my life into work shifts, class periods, time to study, exercise time, etc.

I take the days for granted. I forget the people I once knew that won’t see the sun rise and fall today. I forget to be grateful for the life I’ve been given. I forget to remember verses like 1 Timothy 2:5-6, “For, there is one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message God gave to the world at just the right time.”

I forget that I answer to Jesus. My plans are nothing because what do I really have control over in this life anyway? Hebrews 12:1-2 says, “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

I’m not going to measure my life in coffee spoons, I won’t divide my life into years. Like the wind, I'll go along with the time as it flows from day to day like the breeze, hour to hour like the waves. Because He didn’t tell me to live according to any clock or calendar, He just told me to live.






Cover Image Credit: https://pixabay.com/en/beach-pacific-coastline-ocean-coast-2089936/

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
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“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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Fall In Love With Failure In Order To Be Successful

Make failure your key to success.

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The world is full of 'no's.' From your parents saying no to you not being able to go out with your friends, to getting denied from the college you really wanted to go to. The word 'No' is defined as 'the negative answer or decision; getting the opposite of what is specified' according to Google.

If any of you follow Gary Vaynerchuk (better known as Gary Vee, famous entrepreneur and motivational speaker) said once that you need to 'fall in love with failure.' Accepting failure and how you handle that failure, really determines your destiny. (It does sound cheesy, but it is very true).

So many people let failure defeat them. You might say that failure might not defeat you, but inside it still does. Failure is a daunting feeling that makes you feel less than who you are. Or that you do not have enough potential for something. But here is the thing…YOU DO HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR SOMETHING.

I love failing. I know, it sounds crazy, but I like failing. Why? Because it helps me narrow down my options, and shows me what is meant to be, and what isn't. Failure is a sign from God saying, 'No, there is another way you can do this, you just haven't found it yet. Keep pushing forward'. I am a firm believer in 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, and if it isn't, it isn't'. Failure is like your guide through life, helping you stay off the roads you aren't meant to go down. And when failure does come to you, you essentially find another way.

For example, when you apply for college, you apply to several schools. (Unlike me, only applying to one). So, when I got a response back from the college, they denied my application. I was devastated because I had painted this whole picture in my head of myself there, and that it was the 'only way' to be successful and get to where I want to be in life. Well, I let myself be sad for a solid five minutes, but then I branched out my options, knowing that it is okay and that God didn't want me to go there as well, thus why I got denied. Failure really pisses me off, but it fuels the fire/drive for success I have.

My message to you is take that failure, accept it, maybe laugh at it! You will find another way for success. Just keep working hard, exploring, and making a difference, and you will end up where you need to be, regardless of how you get there.

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