It has taken me a long time to come to terms with what happened and realizing that I too am a victim of sexual assault or misconduct. With the social media movement of "me too," I finally decided to openly talk about mine, because dialogue is what sparks change.
My first experience was when I was a freshman in high school. I was just about to turn fifteen and I was on a school trip. We were in central America for ten days, and we were staying in a hotel of the capital of the country we were visiting. The view was lovely, and the rooftop was a great place to sit and draw. As I was drawing I heard someone come upstairs, and he was looming over me as I sat and drew. We made small talk, uncomfortable small talk. The guy was an ass at school and had bullied me for several years, but we were on this trip together, so I wanted to be civil. He stayed up on the roof with me until I was done drawing my scene and was ready to take the stairs back down. He followed me for a moment, then stepped in front of me, blocking the entrance to the stairwell. He said something and I think I was in shock, so I couldn't process what he said. I asked him "what?" and he said "Show me your boobs and I'll let you down the stairs." Immediately I was scared and flustered. Why would I let him see me? I wondered. He said it again in a more firm voice. I thought for a moment and old him "No." He asked me why, and I could only respond with the reason "I have a boyfriend," because as I girl I knew guys respected other guys than they respected me. I should have said "I don't WANT to," and pushed him down a flight of stairs, but I wasn't strong enough in my uneducated mind to do it, so I pulled up my shirt.
People say that was my mistake, that I couldn't call this misconduct because I chose to pull up my shirt. That would be where they are wrong. I was coerced into pulling up my shirt and I felt violated and scared the whole time. I said no, and that meant no, but he didn't see it that way. Because I was too afraid to report him, I felt uncomfortable near him for the duration of the trip. I knew he would relentlessly harass me at school so I stayed silent, until now. In case you are wondering how he turned out, he's in the marines now, and probably doing well. I don't know because I blocked him on Facebook for being an ass and making fun of people and me. This event didn't ruin his success, and I can't imagine it would ruin his other relationships either, but sometimes I wonder how many other girls did he do like this? It's a sickening thought, but now that this is all out here...I hope if you read this, you understand you are not alone.
