#GunReformNow: 13 Reasons Why We're Done Waiting For Change

#GunReformNow: 13 Reasons Why We're Done Waiting For Change

The Experience of Growing Up in Mass Shooting America

I remember the first time my school did a school shooting emergency drill. We did not know it was a drill. Not all of us realized what a "lockdown" was. Two students argued in hushed whispers, one well-aware it was for shootings, another insisting a convict could have escaped in a nearby prison.

We thought about pulling out our phones and texting our parents, except the teacher seemed perturbed by its novelty but not particularly frightened. After, she simply said, "I don't want you to be afraid. I want you to take it seriously. It could save all of our lives -- just being quiet. Not goofing off when the lights go out and the intercom says, 'lockdown,' in one click." I remember that it happened often, especially around times of school shootings on the news -- which is why I acutely remember the shootings were often.

I first got into article writing on the encouragement of a high school English teacher. The first story I ever wrote was about overcoming childhood illness and a near-death experience. It was published in TeenInk and circulated around the country. I received many letters and read plenty of to-the-editor responses. It occurred to me, just 14 or 15 at the time, that I might have a platform.

It was the thought that was sitting with me at the time of the Sandy Hook shooting. As we neared the anniversary of one year and it was so palpable that our state of Connecticut, my home, hadn't healed. There were still teddy bear memorials in the streets. It still struck a raw nerve when mentioned almost weekly on the news or in town, and grated in the back of my mind every time I brought my little brother to elementary school. Every morning. It became clearer to me than ever that I had to say something, and I wrote an article. It was published again, circulated to classrooms around the country again, and received letters and read responses to it.

I didn't think my writing would change the world, and it didn't. But I was young, it was 2013, and I thought maybe, just maybe, we were heading into an age of gun reform. I remember feeling hopeful, and sad, when President Obama went on TV, or was in a web clip, encouraging states to change their laws and warning lawmakers that it wouldn't stop until they took action. I remember believing that once the Republican congress was balanced out, and the stalemates of R-gridlock shifted, any non-conservative majority congress would pass the last laws we needed to be safe.

I remember having nightmares about shootings at my school. They were just as normal as having nightmares about being naked in the middle of class, or forgetting to go to class and missing the first day of school.

I remember pulling all-nighters with my friends at sleepovers, and people asking me in "Truth or Dare" if I would jump in front of a bullet for them, or charge a shooter in a lunchroom. I remember a kid having a gun confiscated, and not overthinking it.

I remember the first time the school on-boarded a public safety officer, and each time knives were found in a locker, the administration threatening to install metal detectors.

I remember fighting with my mom that I didn't want to go to school. Often because I was bullied relentlessly - all my friends and I were - but also because "those kids" (the slackers that smoked cigarettes in the skate park, chased children off the nearby playground, got in fist-fights, broke water fountains, and bragged about their access to weed) constantly joked about shooting up the school, or tried to prove how cool or unfazed they were by making horrible, dark jokes about the news when another mass killing went viral. They drew Nazi symbols on mirrors, some had confederate flags in the backs of their trucks, and wore "don't tread on me" T-shirts or pinned the flags in their lockers.

There was a constant discussion in the student body of whether they were just jerks and actually harmless, or if they did the destructive and violent things they said they did to look "cool".

It was a public small-city high school, increasingly underfunded and an infamously toxic environment. It was full of genuine fear.

I don't recount this to say that shootings have become a part of American life, or that teens are afraid in school, and parents are afraid sending them to school. We know that.

I recount it to say that this was five years ago. Change felt immediately necessary, demanding, and there was hope that it was on the horizon. There was hope that things would change soon, because we couldn't adjust to it. It couldn't become normal. It was too horrifying to be normal. We were being assigned summer reading books like "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. It couldn't become part of our education. Drills couldn't outlast our time there. They were supposed to be temporary, not normal.

"Don't normalize it!" the tweets were crying then, and now.

"It won't happen, gun control is any day now, America won't ignore Sandy Hook," I said.

I was wrong. It has.

Florida has marked yet another shooting. It hasn't stopped. Somehow, change feels harder and more inaccessible now than then. We are angrier. We are afraid as we are desensitized. Nothing changed. Nothing changes.

Kids are being raised thinking their schools are not safe. I was raised thinking my school is not safe. I came of age in a town next to a town where children had been slaughtered, and normalcy was a strange performance that broken people were clinging to, stumbling through their own lives with collective dissonance and off-hinged community rhythms. People had lost everything. Friends of friends were attending funerals for baby cousins. It was all wrong.

It is still all wrong.

Parents are without their children tonight. 17. Children are without their friends tonight.

And it feels horribly, horribly normal.

We are done waiting. I am done waiting.

1. Thoughts and Prayers

How can anyone shrug and deflect and "thoughts and prayers" your way out of accountability for children murdered in mass shootings, moving on unfazed by the 30,0000 annual American causalities of gun violence?

How can you defend the right of a white Christian male terrorist to walk into a school and murder 20 children in a matter of minutes, year after year after year, for the theoretical threat that you might be inconvenienced in buying your next "toy"?

How can you look at weapons capable of mass murder as a toy?

How can you turn away from the fatal consequences of their politics, and cry for more and more access for as many consumers as possible to buy and use and own weapons, even though it always means more death?

It's insane. It's soulless. Delusional, at best.

2. Excuses Mean Nothing

Stop pretending something that has happened 8 times in the past 7 weeks, and relentlessly for the past 19 years, is "an isolated and rare incident".

Stop saying NRA members care about mental health and believe it's the "real" problem. They don't care. My home state has known this since we lost those kids, and our sense of security.

Stop saying that shooting the shooter dead after there are already bodies on the floor is "enough" justice. Stop saying the last bullet of the day means it's over. It's not. It's not over for America. It's not enough. Making sure this never happens again is the only justice.

3. It's preventable.

We're just not facing tragedy. We're facing chronic mass killings. We're facing chronic mass killings that are frequent, senseless, unpredictable, and target crowds and the most vulnerable, seemingly-safe locations. We're facing mass killings that are preventable, but enabled by lawmakers who are too afraid to lose funding from the NRA lobbies to do anything.

Don't let anyone forget that lawmakers have the power to change this. Gun reform has been on the table since Columbine in 1999. It's been 19 years of a refusal to change, even as other first world nations have gone ahead and meaningfully changed the pattern of gun violence and provided substantive evidence at its effectiveness.

19 years of complicit and criminal inaction. How many were funded directly by the NRA and gun interests groups? Research your fav conservative politician's donors yourself. You just might find the hand moving their puppet mouth if you trace it to the arm stuffing bills in their suit pocket.

4. The opposition is archaic.

Not only is there every reason to restrict, limit, and even ban these weapons, there is no valid reason to make them a household staple in the face of the consequences of relaxed laws.

This is my problem with conservative fallacies. No one knows what you stand for if it isn't blatant narcissism at the living threat of everyone else in the country.

You say it's "God and America". Does God not love all His children, and they thy neighboor? Did Jesus not turn the other cheek? Does America not see 30,000 of her people killed by unnecessary gun violence a year? How can you see the impact of gun violence in America society, and confidently call it the mark of a free country?

When in God's commandments did He say "you have the right to bear arms"?

It's not a Christian thing, it's a Second Amendment thing. That's a wartime constitution from an era of English oppression and very different technological contexts, and still - uncivilized. It's back when slavery was legal, women couldn't vote, and the war was happening on US soil.

America should not be a warzone. America does not need a civilian military. We're not mid-Revolution against the British empire. We're not in the wake of the terror of imperialist powers, with citizen-run government, drafting a Bill of Rights that defends the revolt against former tyranny. It's not the 1770's and 80's. It's not 1791, when the Bill of Rights was written.

5. Gun Hobbying and Lobbying and Other Hypocrisy

You're so quick to say "it's not the guns", it's the people. Then suddenly it's an unarmed black kid, and you say it's it's not the cop that's responsible, and it's not the gun that's responsible, but the victim somehow.

It's all excuses. It's all unethical. It's all party-line bull.

The same people who say "I shouldn't be affected by gun regulations because I would never personally shoot someone," call pro-choice legislation evil for saying, "Women shouldn't be affected by abortion regulations just because I would never personally abort a pregnancy."

If you insist no women should have an abortion, or it should be extremely limited and regulated, because you think it's killing kids, then you should insist no unfit civilians should have guns, because mass shootings ARE killing children.

There's no more time left for ideological sparring. There's no time left for the hypocritical garbage. It has to stop. If you care about human life, if you care about American children, then you care. Or you don't. Your actions decide - and lawmakers, your legacy is inaction.

Right now, the conservative agenda is horrifying. It's damning.

How can you call those "toys" a right while invalidating and infringing on countless other human rights that are immediate and profound? How can you ship Americans who have been here since they were children back to countries where they don't speak the language, experience culture shock and destitution, and often face fatal violence - over a piece of paper you call birthright? Then say you care about human rights.

Is it the same callousness that puts your NRA hobby BIRGing above the victims? Have you shrugged off Sandy Hook yet? Because I haven't. I've met those parents. I've been to that community. They haven't.

How can you claim right to life --- or even the right to migration and asylum --- is a human right, but your right to gun ownership is?

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:

I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

― Emma Lazarus

That's our Statue of Liberty. That's nearly as old as our country. Something tells me that the history isn't what moves you, but the convenience of calling upon it -- conditionally.

6. The Bottom Line: It's an Ultimatum. Make it stop.

How many more victims is gun violence going to claim? How many unarmed black civilians? How many children in classrooms? How many women killed by their abusers? How many LGBTQIA murdered? How many hate crimes? How many concert halls, schools, movie theatres, colleges, cities?

How many people are going to die for your "god-given right" to kill if you "need" to with the little black machines you swear are locked in a metal box somewhere, while the victims pile up on classroom floors say otherwise?

That's sick, I know. Welcome to the demented age of our nation, where this is being reported on every screen, and we do nothing. Nothing.

Cover Image Credit: Voz Is Neiz

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.

Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.


Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Abortion Bans Are Only A Small Part Of The Republican War On Women

These bans expose the Republican Party for what it truly is.


This week, several states passed laws that ban abortion after six to eight weeks of pregnancy, before most women even know that they're pregnant. The most egregious of these is Alabama — the state has banned abortion except for in cases of danger to the mother. Exceptions in the cases of rape and incest were actively voted against by the state legislature. Under the new law, any doctor who is caught giving an abortion would be sentenced to 99 years in prison, and the woman would be charged with murder.

Apart from the fact that this explicitly violates the decision of Roe v. Wade (which is the point), this is only a small part of the slow but steady degradation of women's rights by Republicans in the United States. To anyone who believes that this is simply about people being "pro-life" or "saving the children," then tell them to look at what happens after the fetus is carried to term.

Republicans oppose forcing fathers to be involved in the lives of their children that were forcibly carried to term, desires to cut food stamps and make it more difficult to feed said child, cut funding for affordable housing to make it more difficult for them to find homes, cut spending to public education so these children can't move up the social ladder, and refuse to offer the woman or her child health insurance to keep them both healthy. What about efforts to prevent pregnancy? Republicans also oppose funding birth control and contraception, as well as opposing comprehensive sexual education. To them, the only feasible solution is to simply keep your legs shut. They oppose all of these things because it is, in their eyes, a violation of individual rights to force people to do something. The bill also makes women who get abortions felons, and felons can't vote. I'll let you finish putting those two together.

If you view it from this framework, it would seem like Republicans are being extremely hypocritical by violating the personal freedoms of pregnant women, but if you look at it from the view of restricting social mobility for women, then it makes perfect sense. The Republican dogma of "individual rights" and "personal responsibility" is a socially acceptable facade that they use to cover up their true intentions of protecting the status quo and protect those in power. About any Republican policy, ask yourself: does this disperse power or consolidate it? Whether it be education, healthcare, the environment, or the economy, Republicans love to keep power away from the average citizen and give it to the small number of people that they deem "deserving" of it because of their race, gender, wealth, or power. This is the case with abortion as well; Power is being taken from women, and being given back to men in a reversal of the Feminist Movement of the 1970s.

Republicans don't believe in systemic issues. They believe that everyone has the same opportunity to succeed regardless of what point they started. This is why they love capitalism so much. It acts as some sort of great filter in which only those who deserve power can make it to the top. It's also why they hate social policies; they think that helping people who can't help themselves changes the hierarchy in a negative way by giving people who don't "deserve" power, power. Of course, we know that just because you have money and power doesn't mean you earned it fair and square, and even if Republicans believe it, it wouldn't change anything because it wouldn't change how they want to distribute power.

In short, Republican policies, including abortion, leave the average American with less money, less protection, less education, worse health, less opportunity, fewer rights, and less freedom. This is NOT a side effect. This is the point. Regardless of what Republicans will tell you about "inalienable rights" and how everyone is equal, in reality, they believe that some people and groups are more deserving of rights than others, and the group that deserves rights the most are the ones "that will do the best with them." To Republicans, this group consists of the wealthy, the powerful, and the white — the mega-rich, the CEOs of large companies, gun owners and Christians.

So, who do Republicans think deserve power and give it to? People who look and think like them. This, however, begs the question: Who do they want to take it from?

Related Content

Facebook Comments