Last week, I posted an introductory article on masculinity versus femininity and how gender stereotyping can cause more problems than we realize. Last week I mainly focused on the God-given attribute of physical appearance. This week I am going to focus more on the God-given attribute of personality and character traits that come from who we are. I'm only going to touch on a very limited few of the ones that pop into my mind. What are some of the first things you think about a man or woman being judged for that don't actually affect their gender or sexual orientation?
1. Fashion
This one could fill an entire article, but I'll simplify it. Fashion is universal. It is not meant for only men or only women. If a man dresses well and chooses to be fashionable, don't judge him. If a woman chooses to be fashionable, we celebrate it, however, when we see a man dressed really well—and I don't mean a suit—we tend to look at him with more skepticism. Why is that? Alternatively, it is perfectly fine for a man to dress down and sporty or grungy, but as soon as we see a woman dress in a similar fashion, our skeptic glasses come out again. Am I the only one who finds this hypocritical and a bit ridiculous?
2. Makeup and skincare
This should be something that everyone does. Take care of yourself. Personal hygiene is not a gender issue. If a guy takes care of his skin or wears cover up or eyeliner, it is not the end of the world. This may be a bigger issue, especially in our culture, but makeup should not be a gender-specific thing. It isn't wrong for guys to accentuate the features God gave them. Women do it all the time. But, we also shouldn't assume that a woman is any less of a woman if she chooses not to use makeup. I could devote an entire article to this one as well, but I won't.
3. Hair length
If a guy can pull off longer hair and it looks good, great! If a girl likes her hair short, and it looks good on her, then great! Why is this one even an issue?
4. Pink
I'll keep this simple. Some guys like pink. Some girls hate it. Stop judging people's sexual orientation by their color preferences.
5. Man-card
Don't even get me started on the man-card. Yes, I understand that it's a joke most of the time, and it can be funny, but it's these little things that we turn into laughing matters that actually reflect a greater flaw in mentality that affects society. If a man likes candles or home decor or something else that you find more feminine in nature, it doesn't make him girly. Appreciating beauty should not emasculate someone. I'll end my rant on that one here.
6. Hobbies or interests
Some guys love shopping or artsy things and hate hunting or sports or more "manly" hobbies. This quality does not affect their gender or sexual orientation. It is a preference! The same thing goes for women. If a woman hates shopping or artsy things but loves to hunt or play sports, then it's simply her preference, and it doesn't make her any less of a woman.
We all possess masculine and feminine qualities that are manifested in different ways. Men are different from women, but women are also different from women just as men also are different from men. We really aren't all that different from each other as men and women. We share more common traits than we realize. In fact, as seen from the graph below, it is more likely that the differences among men and women are greater than the differences between them at times.
It isn’t our place to judge someone of our sex for being more masculine or more feminine in their character traits than we are. God made us all different. Our masculine and feminine differences do not change our gender. They do not change our sex. We remain who God made us to be. Stop telling people to believe differently. If I have more masculine traits than most other females, that does not make me a boy. It makes me uniquely human. So when you see a guy with eyeliner on, or a really fashionable outfit on, don’t judge him and call him gay or girly. He’s human. And when a girl goes around playing sports better than most guys you know or prefers not to wear makeup or dress up, don’t accuse her of being gay or not womanly enough. She's human too.
Who are we to judge what is manly enough or womanly enough? The fewer people suggest these kinds of ideas, the less likely people are to internalize and act on the notion of not truly being what God made them to be. A judgmental glance or an overheard insult could cut deeper than you think. I’ll say it again: your words have so much power. Watch how you use them.
