Mascot Rankings: NBA
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Mascot Rankings: NBA

I didn't even know some of these NBA teams existed.

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Mascot Rankings: NBA

I've done this with basically everything else, so why not do the NBA too? The season is currently happening and since I don't pay attention to the games anyway, I might as well decide who's the best by whose mascot would succeed in a fight. I'm judging it based on their namesake mascot and not whatever they have running around the court, because some of them are contrasting and that annoys me. Sit back, find your favorite team, and enjoy the show.

30. Golden State Warriors

https://twitter.com/warriors/status/1349236936502726657/photo/1

Mascot: Warriors (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 30- They might not currently have a costumed mascot, but they use to, and it was offensive, so although I'm glad they decided to ditch that decades ago, they still use the same name, so I don't know quite how I feel about that.

29. Utah Jazz

https://twitter.com/abc4utah/status/1053369557606428672/photo/1

Mascot: Jazz/ Jazz Bear

My Ranking: 29- This might be the least scary genre of music I've ever heard.

28. Denver Nuggets

https://twitter.com/JustinTinsley/status/517133726531465216/photo/1

Mascot: Nuggets/ Rocky the Mountain Lion

My Ranking: 28- Dang, now I'm thinking about McNuggets.

27. Brooklyn Nets

https://twitter.com/BrooklynNets/status/1347350949749207041/photo/1

Mascot: Nets (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 27- Who was the wise guy who decided to name the team after the equipment used in the game- just seems a little lazy.

26. Detroit Pistons

https://twitter.com/PistonsHooper/status/1344114061777240065/photo/1

Mascot: Pistons/ Hooper

My Ranking: 26- I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't for a piston to be something in a car. *yawn*

25. New York Knicks

https://twitter.com/nyknicks/status/1348464656050884608/photo/1

Mascot: Knicks (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 25- Naming yourself after a pair of pants is a bold move, I'll give them that.

24. Los Angeles Lakers

https://twitter.com/Lakers/status/1346867661674844161/photo/1

Mascot: Lakers (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 24- What exactly is a laker? One who likes lakes?

23. Philadelphia 76ers

https://twitter.com/NBA/status/1194374311492169730/photo/1

Mascot: 76ers/ Franklin the Dog

My Ranking: 23- Woohoo, our burgeoning independence! In the grand scheme of things, not the most exciting option and definitely not scary either. Maybe to King George III though (too soon?).

22. LA Clippers

https://twitter.com/ChuckTheCondor/status/1344721579545034752/photo/1

Mascot: Clippers/ Chuck

My Ranking: 22- It's technically a type of sailboat, but if it was actually just a giant pair of scissors, I'm thinking top 3 for sure.

21. Indiana Pacers

https://twitter.com/RightThisMinute/status/654440352678584320/photo/1

Mascot: Pacers/ Boomer

My Ranking: 21- It has something to do with racing, but all I can think about is *ahem* The FitnessGram (TM) Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test tha-.

20. Boston Celtics

https://twitter.com/nbastats/status/1346315043156144130/photo/1

Mascot: Celtics/ Lucky the Leprechaun (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 20- If only they had a little more luck, they might be ranked better on this list.

19. Cleveland Cavaliers

https://twitter.com/CavsMoondog/status/1349022043203895298/photo/1

Mascot: Cavaliers/ Moondog (& Sir CC)

My Ranking: 19- They're only this high, because they have swords. Good for them.

18. San Antonio Spurs

https://twitter.com/SpursCoyote/status/1344759146772623360/photo/1

Mascot: Spurs/ The Coyote

My Ranking: 18- A boot spur looks super pointy, so honestly, I wouldn't want one of those bad boys thrown at me.

17. Miami Heat

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/589155768034811906/photo/1

Mascot: Heat/ Burnie

My Ranking: 17- I know what you're thinking- how is heat that intimidating? Listen, most of these mascots are no match for heatstroke, and I will not be explaining any further.

16. Portland Trail Blazers

https://twitter.com/trailblazers/status/1348859435171549187/photo/1

Mascot: Trail Blazers/ Blaze the Trail Cat (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 16- After 2 seconds of research, I found out that the team is named after the Lewis & Clark expedition. I didn't ask for a history lesson here, you guys.

15. New Orleans Pelicans

https://twitter.com/PelicansNBA/status/1263470667862810635/photo/1

Mascot: Pelicans/ Pierre the Pelican

My Ranking: 15- I like this mascot a lot; I just don't think it would win against some of these other ones.

14. Oklahoma City Thunder

https://twitter.com/rumblethebison/status/1342492791113469952/photo/1

Mascot: Thunder/ Rumble the Bison

My Ranking: 14- If you think about it, thunder is just a loud noise.

13. Sacramento Kings

https://twitter.com/SacramentoKings/status/1140790046972190721/photo/1

Mascot: Kings/ Slamson the Lion

My Ranking: 13- The king himself might not be great in a tussle, but he'd sure be able to find and pay someone to whoop some booty.

12. Dallas Mavericks

https://twitter.com/mavsmoneyball/status/1348123976103505924/photo/1

Mascot: Mavericks/ Champ (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 12- Whoever named this team was a horse girl. I rest my case.

11. Atlanta Hawks

https://twitter.com/ATLHawks/status/1284912562220539907/photo/4

Mascot: Hawks/ Harry the Hawk

My Ranking: 11- This one's kind of meh.

10. Toronto Raptors

https://twitter.com/the_raptor/status/1258482007891460096/photo/4

Mascot: Raptors/ The Raptor

My Ranking: 10- I mean, dinosaurs are extinct, so what really can they do?

9. Houston Rockets

https://twitter.com/HoustonRockets/status/1344712425119965184/photo/1

Mascot: Rockets/ Clutch the Rocket Bear

My Ranking: 9- Rocket could just fly away from anything trying to fight, so... full-proof escape plan.

8. Charlotte Hornets

https://twitter.com/hornets/status/1349128561639235586/photo/1

Mascot: Hornets/ Hugo the Hornet (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 8- They might be small, but I think we all know that no one enjoys getting stung.

7. Milwaukee Bucks

https://twitter.com/BucksBango/status/1348075441798717442/photo/1

Mascot: Bucks/ Bango

My Ranking: 7- The bigger the horns, the closer to God. Just kidding, they can just use them to go stabby-stab.

6. Chicago Bulls

https://twitter.com/UnitedCenter/status/1252053701155569671/photo/2

Mascot: Bulls/ Benny the Bull

My Ranking: 6- Wait for it... Chicago Bowls. I just made it better.

5. Minnesota Timberwolves

https://twitter.com/YahooNews/status/825133799986049025/photo/1

Mascot: Timberwolves/ Crunch the Wolf

My Ranking: 5- I rode on a rollercoaster called the Timberwolf that broke down one time. I know this has nothing to do with that, but I'm still a little salty.

4. Memphis Grizzlies

https://twitter.com/midnightdog/status/423605062657531904/photo/1

Mascot: Grizzlies/ Grizz

My Ranking: 4- It looks more like a hairy pig, but I digress.

3. Phoenix Suns

https://twitter.com/DuaneRankin/status/1349032053422006274/photo/1

Mascot: Suns/ The Gorilla (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 3- Not much really beats the sun and yet...

2. Orlando Magic

https://twitter.com/STUFFMagic/status/1208906614641577985/photo/2

Mascot: Magic/ Stuff the Magic Dragon

My Ranking: 2- Magic is magic, like c'mon.

1. Washington Wizards

https://twitter.com/WizardsGWiz/status/1292467822816309255/photo/1

Mascot: Wizards/ G-Wiz

My Ranking: 1- You're the toughest mascot, Harry (Although the hat almost had me fooled).

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