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Mascot Rankings: NBA

I didn't even know some of these NBA teams existed.

Emily Fustos

Jan 20, 2021

Mississippi State University

https://twitter.com/rumblethebison/status/1273258692377542668/photo/1

I've done this with basically everything else, so why not do the NBA too? The season is currently happening and since I don't pay attention to the games anyway, I might as well decide who's the best by whose mascot would succeed in a fight. I'm judging it based on their namesake mascot and not whatever they have running around the court, because some of them are contrasting and that annoys me. Sit back, find your favorite team, and enjoy the show.

30. Golden State Warriors

https://twitter.com/warriors/status/1349236936502726657/photo/1

Mascot: Warriors (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 30- They might not currently have a costumed mascot, but they use to, and it was offensive, so although I'm glad they decided to ditch that decades ago, they still use the same name, so I don't know quite how I feel about that.

29. Utah Jazz

https://twitter.com/abc4utah/status/1053369557606428672/photo/1

Mascot: Jazz/ Jazz Bear

My Ranking: 29- This might be the least scary genre of music I've ever heard.

28. Denver Nuggets

https://twitter.com/JustinTinsley/status/517133726531465216/photo/1

Mascot: Nuggets/ Rocky the Mountain Lion

My Ranking: 28- Dang, now I'm thinking about McNuggets.

27. Brooklyn Nets

https://twitter.com/BrooklynNets/status/1347350949749207041/photo/1

Mascot: Nets (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 27- Who was the wise guy who decided to name the team after the equipment used in the game- just seems a little lazy.

26. Detroit Pistons

https://twitter.com/PistonsHooper/status/1344114061777240065/photo/1

Mascot: Pistons/ Hooper

My Ranking: 26- I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't for a piston to be something in a car. *yawn*

25. New York Knicks

https://twitter.com/nyknicks/status/1348464656050884608/photo/1

Mascot: Knicks (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 25- Naming yourself after a pair of pants is a bold move, I'll give them that.

24. Los Angeles Lakers

https://twitter.com/Lakers/status/1346867661674844161/photo/1

Mascot: Lakers (no official costumed mascot)

My Ranking: 24- What exactly is a laker? One who likes lakes?

23. Philadelphia 76ers

https://twitter.com/NBA/status/1194374311492169730/photo/1

Mascot: 76ers/ Franklin the Dog

My Ranking: 23- Woohoo, our burgeoning independence! In the grand scheme of things, not the most exciting option and definitely not scary either. Maybe to King George III though (too soon?).

22. LA Clippers

https://twitter.com/ChuckTheCondor/status/1344721579545034752/photo/1

Mascot: Clippers/ Chuck

My Ranking: 22- It's technically a type of sailboat, but if it was actually just a giant pair of scissors, I'm thinking top 3 for sure.

21. Indiana Pacers

https://twitter.com/RightThisMinute/status/654440352678584320/photo/1

Mascot: Pacers/ Boomer

My Ranking: 21- It has something to do with racing, but all I can think about is *ahem* The FitnessGram (TM) Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test tha-.

20. Boston Celtics

https://twitter.com/nbastats/status/1346315043156144130/photo/1

Mascot: Celtics/ Lucky the Leprechaun (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 20- If only they had a little more luck, they might be ranked better on this list.

19. Cleveland Cavaliers

https://twitter.com/CavsMoondog/status/1349022043203895298/photo/1

Mascot: Cavaliers/ Moondog (& Sir CC)

My Ranking: 19- They're only this high, because they have swords. Good for them.

18. San Antonio Spurs

https://twitter.com/SpursCoyote/status/1344759146772623360/photo/1

Mascot: Spurs/ The Coyote

My Ranking: 18- A boot spur looks super pointy, so honestly, I wouldn't want one of those bad boys thrown at me.

17. Miami Heat

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/589155768034811906/photo/1

Mascot: Heat/ Burnie

My Ranking: 17- I know what you're thinking- how is heat that intimidating? Listen, most of these mascots are no match for heatstroke, and I will not be explaining any further.

16. Portland Trail Blazers

https://twitter.com/trailblazers/status/1348859435171549187/photo/1

Mascot: Trail Blazers/ Blaze the Trail Cat (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 16- After 2 seconds of research, I found out that the team is named after the Lewis & Clark expedition. I didn't ask for a history lesson here, you guys.

15. New Orleans Pelicans

https://twitter.com/PelicansNBA/status/1263470667862810635/photo/1

Mascot: Pelicans/ Pierre the Pelican

My Ranking: 15- I like this mascot a lot; I just don't think it would win against some of these other ones.

14. Oklahoma City Thunder

https://twitter.com/rumblethebison/status/1342492791113469952/photo/1

Mascot: Thunder/ Rumble the Bison

My Ranking: 14- If you think about it, thunder is just a loud noise.

13. Sacramento Kings

https://twitter.com/SacramentoKings/status/1140790046972190721/photo/1

Mascot: Kings/ Slamson the Lion

My Ranking: 13- The king himself might not be great in a tussle, but he'd sure be able to find and pay someone to whoop some booty.

12. Dallas Mavericks

https://twitter.com/mavsmoneyball/status/1348123976103505924/photo/1

Mascot: Mavericks/ Champ (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 12- Whoever named this team was a horse girl. I rest my case.

11. Atlanta Hawks

https://twitter.com/ATLHawks/status/1284912562220539907/photo/4

Mascot: Hawks/ Harry the Hawk

My Ranking: 11- This one's kind of meh.

10. Toronto Raptors

https://twitter.com/the_raptor/status/1258482007891460096/photo/4

Mascot: Raptors/ The Raptor

My Ranking: 10- I mean, dinosaurs are extinct, so what really can they do?

9. Houston Rockets

https://twitter.com/HoustonRockets/status/1344712425119965184/photo/1

Mascot: Rockets/ Clutch the Rocket Bear

My Ranking: 9- Rocket could just fly away from anything trying to fight, so... full-proof escape plan.

8. Charlotte Hornets

https://twitter.com/hornets/status/1349128561639235586/photo/1

Mascot: Hornets/ Hugo the Hornet (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 8- They might be small, but I think we all know that no one enjoys getting stung.

7. Milwaukee Bucks

https://twitter.com/BucksBango/status/1348075441798717442/photo/1

Mascot: Bucks/ Bango

My Ranking: 7- The bigger the horns, the closer to God. Just kidding, they can just use them to go stabby-stab.

6. Chicago Bulls

https://twitter.com/UnitedCenter/status/1252053701155569671/photo/2

Mascot: Bulls/ Benny the Bull

My Ranking: 6- Wait for it... Chicago Bowls. I just made it better.

5. Minnesota Timberwolves

https://twitter.com/YahooNews/status/825133799986049025/photo/1

Mascot: Timberwolves/ Crunch the Wolf

My Ranking: 5- I rode on a rollercoaster called the Timberwolf that broke down one time. I know this has nothing to do with that, but I'm still a little salty.

4. Memphis Grizzlies

https://twitter.com/midnightdog/status/423605062657531904/photo/1

Mascot: Grizzlies/ Grizz

My Ranking: 4- It looks more like a hairy pig, but I digress.

3. Phoenix Suns

https://twitter.com/DuaneRankin/status/1349032053422006274/photo/1

Mascot: Suns/ The Gorilla (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 3- Not much really beats the sun and yet...

2. Orlando Magic

https://twitter.com/STUFFMagic/status/1208906614641577985/photo/2

Mascot: Magic/ Stuff the Magic Dragon

My Ranking: 2- Magic is magic, like c'mon.

1. Washington Wizards

https://twitter.com/WizardsGWiz/status/1292467822816309255/photo/1

Mascot: Wizards/ G-Wiz

My Ranking: 1- You're the toughest mascot, Harry (Although the hat almost had me fooled).

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Mascot Rankings: NBA

I didn't even know some of these NBA teams existed.

30. Golden State Warriors

29. Utah Jazz

28. Denver Nuggets

27. Brooklyn Nets

26. Detroit Pistons

25. New York Knicks

24. Los Angeles Lakers

23. Philadelphia 76ers

22. LA Clippers

21. Indiana Pacers

20. Boston Celtics

19. Cleveland Cavaliers

18. San Antonio Spurs

17. Miami Heat

16. Portland Trail Blazers

15. New Orleans Pelicans

14. Oklahoma City Thunder

13. Sacramento Kings

12. Dallas Mavericks

11. Atlanta Hawks

10. Toronto Raptors

9. Houston Rockets

8. Charlotte Hornets

7. Milwaukee Bucks

6. Chicago Bulls

5. Minnesota Timberwolves

4. Memphis Grizzlies

3. Phoenix Suns

2. Orlando Magic

1. Washington Wizards

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Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

Nature is beautiful (and so is math). The last one will blow your mind.

1. Shells

2. Trees

3. Flower Pistils

4. Flower Petals

5. Leaves

6. Storms

7. You!

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

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