Marvel’s Film Interpretation Of “Civil War” Isn’t So Marvelous

Marvel’s Film Interpretation Of “Civil War” Isn’t So Marvelous

Not saying it’s bad, but “Captain America: Civil War” wasn't exactly great.
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Firing up my Twitter account a few days ago, I read that “Captain America: Civil War” is nominated for an Academy Award, specifically for the best movie of all time (not really). Merits upon which the film is considered for this prestigious award? It’s beyond reproach and it’s everything a DCEU film isn’t. It’s a gift straight from the geek gods and to think less of it in any way is an affront to these deities. The only thing left to do, in an effort to appease these authorities, is nothing less than cutting off my manhood and feeding it to a goat.

However, it does strike me as unfair that critics and fans alike are turning a blind eye to Marvel Films’ missteps. With the exception of the abhorrent MCU monster (Iron Man 3) whose name should never be uttered in civilized company, most films have been incredibly entertaining. However, in an effort to offer a criticism of what is considered to be their best film yet, I’m turning an eye towards “Captain America: Civil War,” a film that I enjoyed, but took severe issue with nevertheless.

Airport battle was underwhelming

Without a doubt, I was entertained by the airport battle in "Civil War," but I still found the entire confrontation to be forgettable and surely not as astounding as everyone and their grandmother would have me believe. A minimum effort was exerted to apprehend, thus the stakes never seemed that steep. And all the snarky dialogue dispensed by practically everyone at every opportunity (an MCU staple) provoked more than a few eye-rolls. I get it, it’s a fictional comic book film, but it disappointingly failed to inspire or emotionally engage me.

Forget not the engagement’s highlights: Ant-Man and Spider-Man. As much as I loved Paul Rudd in the Ant-Man solo film, I thought his scenes were cringeworthy at best, something attributable to piss-poor writing and directing. Spider-Man’s inclusion in the film was one of the films’ (not) well-kept secrets, and it was rushed. I know why it went down the way it did, but his presence was poorly handled. Seriously, what was Mr. Stank thinking? Endangering a teenager without the consent of his guardian and very likely transporting him out of country illegally when their entire beef with Team Cap is that they won’t follow the law?

Steve Rogers isn't that strong

I was all about this battle. Stark’s fury was palpable (kudos, RDJ). Watching that 2-on-1 fight unfold throughout a primarily forgotten soviet facility gave me goose bumps. However, Cap shouldn’t have been able to damage the Iron-Man armor, not even armed with a vibranium shield. The super soldier might be strong, but not that strong. In earlier films Stark’s armor withstood greater hits than what even a person in peak human physical strength should be capable of dishing out. I just couldn't buy it. Sorry, not sorry.

And what's the deal with Stark's A.I. Friday prompting to analyze Cap's fighting style at the last second? Seriously, that's something a genuine genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist would have done from the start, not after his behind has been practically handed to him on a silver platter.

Zemo was a lackluster villain

Having lost his family in the events depicted in “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” Zemo’s motivations are understandable. However, the incident that claimed Zemo’s family took place a year prior, according to the MCU in-film chronology, so we’re to accept that Zemo’s plan went off without a hitch despite having only a year to prepare and execute it? He may not have been as poorly handled as the Mandarin in “Iron Man 3,” but he’s nothing to write home about. Also, his significance in Marvel lore looks to be completely rewritten from the source comic material, and this is another complaint I have with the film. Of course, if you’re not Loki, Marvel tends not to honor their villains.

Twilight is a better love story

Tell you what, when the love of my life passed away days prior, the last thing on my mind is playing suck-face with her niece. But this is what Marvel gives us, throwing together Sharon Carter and Steve Rogers for a wholly unnecessary and inappropriate kiss scene. Seriously, Peggy’s body was probably still warm. Sorry, Marvel, y’all dropped a ball on this one.

The list goes on...

What else could I possibly cite as evidence that this film is a step in the wrong direction? Overuse of the shaky-cam technique had me wondering if the cameraman consumed a few dozen shots of espresso too many. So many subplots mucked up an already condensed “Civil War” storyline that I doubt Stephen Hawking could make sense of what’s going on. So many plot holes the film, but I suppose plot holes can be allowed, since it's not a DC film we're talking about, after all.

Cover Image Credit: Bloody Disgusting

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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3 Steps To Beating Writer's Block

How to get words on the page already!

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I must admit that I am the worst when it comes to writer's block. I will go for a long time without writing because I just have no clue what to write about. Especially since I have a writing competition coming up, I'd like to keep in mind some tips in case I get stuck on what to write about.

Writing is a wonderful experience, and it stinks when that experience gets mundane or stuck in your head. Hopefully, these tips will help you out:

1. Step away.

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The best thing to do when you're stuck with anything is to step away. You're not giving up or procrastinating; you're resetting your brain so it can function properly. Don't worry about the deadline or whatever; make the time to step away. Once you step away and forget about it for a minute or two, you'll be refreshed and ready to face whatever you need to do. This could be a good time to consume instead of create. Go watch a movie or read a book. Taking in that information will end up helping you with your own writing project.

2. Write whatever.

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It doesn't have to be what you're planning on writing. It doesn't have to be a rough draft. You could literally sit down and write a grocery list. Just write! Write everything down. Don't worry if it stinks, don't stop to edit or think about what to write next, and don't ever let that pen leave the paper. You need to get you're writing muscles going after that break you took. Just let anything you have in your head flow through your hand onto the page.

3. Make notes.

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Tip #2 is the general writing practice. This is a little more refined. Once you've dumped everything out onto the piece of paper in front of you, it's time to look at what you've got. Again, you may not have written about your topic, so the stuff you mentally threw up onto the page can't really help you much. That's fine! Just make notes of what you'd like to accomplish through this writing. What's the end goal? Are there any requirements? What are some things you'd like to show up in this work? You can even use the art you consumed to help you figure out some elements to incorporate into your work. What did you like/dislike about what you consumed? How did the story inspire you? Anything at all, make a note of it. From those notes, you can begin writing.

If you've made it to the third step and you still can't think of what to write, feel free to start from the beginning. Sometimes, it can take a lot to get your brain running in the right direction. That's okay! Just be sure to give yourself plenty of time to do what you need to do. Writing can be tough, and coming up with an idea can oftentimes be the toughest part about it. Take your time. You'll think of something.

I hope that these tips were helpful. Good luck and happy writing!

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