The biggest heist of the year is happening, and it’s not a movie or a TV show, kind of. It’s your life; the heist just involves movies and TV shows. Don’t get it? Let me explain.
Spring semester is upon us, and 2016 is looking to be a difficult year for any student fond of comic book shows and movies. 2016 may be the year of the monkey according to the zodiac, but I’m convinced it’s easily the year of the nerd. With the oncoming Hollywood lineup it’s safe to assume that Marvel and DC have conspired against the wallets of nerdy students. Even after you read this, you’ll most likely still fall prey, because this heist is just out for your cash; time is also money. Jan. 21 kicks off the year with DC’s Flash and Arrow spinoff "Legends of Tomorrow," but as far as I’m concerned, 2016 starts Feb. 12 when "Deadpool" comes to theaters. As a comic fan, I prefer Marvel over DC (but I like both), and with fans finally getting a Deadpool that we can actually appreciate, it is time to rejoice.
Really? Who thought this was OK?
Now, many reading this think the next stage of the heist is March 25’s "Batman v. Superman," which will pit DC’s most iconic characters against each other, but this plan attacks your wallet (and time) on two fronts, remember? Sponging up the hype for DC’s "BvS" movie is Marvel’s second season of "Daredevil" on March 18, which will feature the Punisher (Marvel, don’t mess up). There were three (the Lundgren movie doesn't count) two decent attempts on this character that didn’t hold much water (let’s make four the final), and this will introduce Elektra (once again) to the Marvel universe.
Now that we’ve gotten March out of the way, we can skip to the next phase of this robbery. May 2016 is going to be heavy, because we’re getting hit twice in one month. First with the day that history teachers have feared, when "Captain America: Civil War" comes out, because from now on there is always going to that one troll who answers “When did the Civil War start?” with "May 6, 2016." Which leads to when Marvel hits us again with "X-Men: Apocalypse" on May 27.
Aug. 5 brings the DC production "Suicide Squad," which aims for the success that "Guardians of the Galaxy" got from being unknown. Oct. 7 is going to the day we get a second run at the mutant "Gambit" (who, like Deadpool, was wronged the first time around). And hoping to end the year off with a good taste in our mouths is "Doctor Strange" on November 4, which will be the Sorcerer Supreme’s first run-in with the movies.
This is going to a profitable year for both companies, and with movie sales being how they are, it's safe to predict that Marvel and DC are both going to make a billion dollars total combined, minimum. It’s the perfect heist; they give you seven movies and two TV shows, and they get hundreds of dollars and hours of life per viewer, waiting to give it all away again in 2017.
