Have you ever been to Williamsburg? No, not the one in Brooklyn, but the far superior one in Virginia- the one known by historians as the Colonial Capital and part of the Historic Triangle. If you haven't visited this literal time-traveling portal of greatness, you've missed out on seeing our Founding Fathers (and Mothers) brought to life by talented historic interpreters. On my last trip to this magical spot, I watched as a young Martha Washington was brought to life, and let me tell you, she was far different than the Mrs. Claus-like portraits I've grown up with. She was fierce and confident and intelligent and brave. She was a strong and independent woman in a patriarchal society, and I believe that it's about time that the world saw her for the well-rounded woman that she was instead of the one-dimensional portrait that we remember her by.
First of all, let's talk about that seemingly secret portion of Martha's life- that period before she met George and visited Valley Forge and became the First Lady. Martha was actually married before she met our most famous general, and that marriage was preceded by an eventful courtship that showed all of the spunk and talent that Martha had to offer.
One fateful day a young Martha Dandridge became acquainted with Daniel Parke Custis, heir to one of the wealthiest landowners in Virginia. Daniel fell in love with Martha (despite a 19 year age gap), and he was determined that he would marry the beautiful and charming young woman...but, of course, there was a problem. Daniel's father was infamously ill-tempered and prone to stubbornness when it came to his moody decisions. His father was also a firm believer that his son's wife must be the perfect woman to protect and guard his son's vast fortune (AKA a wealthy upper-crust, high society lady). So Daniel, who needed his father's blessing to marry, presented his case. You would think that he would have perfected this art after his previous marriage attempts had all been dismissed by his father, but his pleas were still to no avail. Not willing to give up, he sent his friends to wine and dine his father and to laud and praise the lovely young Martha. Daniel's father still would not budge on his position. Martha was simply not an appropriate match- she was not wealthy enough to be a good wife.
Martha watched as friend after friend was turned away, watched as the father of the man she loved dismissed her and spoke badly of her without even meeting her. She summoned up all of her courage and walked to Daniel's father's home and asked to see the ornery man herself. She became her own advocate, and her delightfully worded argument and her good nature allowed her former enemy to view her in such a positive light that he willingly gave his blessing for her to wed his son.
Their marriage was a happy one, but it was tragically brief. Daniel died, and being a Custis, he had to cause Martha even more trouble. Daniel had never written a will, which meant that Martha, and not some able-bodied male relation, would be in charge of all of his affairs. That meant that Martha, whose managing experience had previously been limited to domestic tasks like decorating, overseeing domestic slave labor, and hosting balls, was now thrust into a man's world of managing vast holdings of land, dealing with lawyers, and paying off debts. That meant that Martha had to oversee the crops grown on thousands upon thousands of acres of land flung over six counties. That meant that Martha had to make sure that three hundred slaves were effectively harvesting and packing the tobacco crop, and she had to ensure that all of the business dealings with London were handled smoothly. That also meant that Martha had to mother a toddler and an infant and guard her husband's legacy. No big deal right? Martha managed to safe guard all of that Custis fortune, and she ensured that her husband's affairs were well taken care of after his death.
Fast forward and we're remembering Martha as George Washington's wife. But did you know that she spent months with her husband at his winter camp...that terrible winter camp where men froze and starved and grew sick. The high society wife would not balk at the dangers, and she bravely stayed by her beloved husband's side. She was the hostess for dignitaries and Native American chiefs, and she was an invaluable symbol of hope. She lost her son to the war and she was threatened with the loss of her husband on a daily basis, but she still stayed strong.
If you are interested in learning more about our first First Lady and you don't want to drive all the way to Virginia, take a look at marthawashington.us. It was an amazing source for this piece, and it provides a great breakdown of Martha's storied life.
Stay tuned next week for the fourth and final installment of my Strong Women Series: ELIZA HAMILTON!!!
