"Men are from mars; Women are from Venus" is something we so commonly hear. This phrase is made to demonstrate the drastic differences between man and woman. For years, we have considered these differences so vast that it hindered our communication with one another which left us with explanations for our various behaviors such as, "Boys will be boys" and "Women are just complicated". Though, in some aspects, both statements can be true, but it depends on what lens you are looking through. How can we make the distance from Mars to Venus shorter every day?
1. We speak two separate languages and totally different dialects! My husband jokes all of the time about me saying something and when he hears it, it means something totally different. He can say the exact thing, but in a way my brain totally didn't compute it. Not only that, but he makes fun of me for my stories, explanations, and descriptions. Women typically speak much more than men do in a day. The last study I was aware of stated that men use approximately 7,000 words a day, while women use a whopping 20,000! How to shorten the distance? Ask him/her did that make sense, and for the sake of these men...we have to try to shorten whatever we are saying to them.
2. Tunnel vision has never been so serious! Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D. wrote an article in Psychology Today which outlined various differences between the male and female brain. One of those was indeed processing. He stated, "Male brains utilize nearly seven times more gray matter for activity while female brains utilize nearly ten times more white matter." This difference is what allows women the ease of multitasking much easier than their male counterparts! Now you can know to no longer take offense when he's watching something on TV and doesn't catch a single thing you said, while also being thankful that when he is giving you his true attention, you are the only thing in the tunnel he sees. This is also why men have this conquering mindset. Go in and "git 'er done". Embrace the way we function and learn how to work with and compliment it. Both serve to our benefit! The 1st photo below is a perfect example. Great picture! Justin is so focused...not on the camera...but focused! lol The 2nd picture also demonstrates his focus. That's tunnel vision I could get used to!
3. Women also tend to remember things that gave us a strong emotion. We remember the good and bad for how we felt. We will wear an outfit more often because we felt great in it or maybe got lots of compliments on it that made us feel good. "Females often have a larger hippocampus, our human memory center. Females also often have a higher density of neural connections into the hippocampus. As a result, girls and women tend to input or absorb more sensorial and emotive information than males do. By “sensorial” we mean information to and from all five senses." (Jantz, Psychology Today). Men tend to be more task oriented rather than feeling their way through their day. Divide and conquer!
4. Women need to feel secure and loved. Men require respect. This is not saying that each doesn't need the other. Men and women both need affirming in various ways ranging from respect to love and so on, but without the provision of security and a nurtured relationship women tend to distance themselves in relationships. When men feel that they have no respect in their home or relationship, they tend to distance themselves.
These statements do vary. These are not consistent, global rules of which there are no exceptions. We are individuals. Hopefully these few things to keep in mind will help shorten the distance from Mars to Venus and allow better understanding and communication. Just as if you go to a different country, you have to learn their ways and interact accordingly, this works similarly for relationships. You must learn how the other person hears and understands to communicate properly. Communication is not simply speaking, but speaking, gesturing, listening, and understanding. It will never be perfect, but it will be beautiful with love and effort!
