I met Isaac when we were both 16 and in high school. Since then we have made many memories have gone through our ups and downs, and grown as a couple. On Jun 8, 2015, he changed our lives forever. He took us to our favorite riverside spot and asked me if I would marry him- I said "yes". One of the best days of my life was met with so much negativity and criticism from others.
It is no secret that this generation is holding back from participating in one of societies oldest traditions- marriage. Research has found that those who are getting married are doing it at a later age. The average age for a woman's first marriage is 27 and for men, it is 29. Because of this, couples who do decide to get married at a younger age are misunderstood and subjected to unfair stereotypes and criticism: It's a reckless decision, you will miss out on opportunities, or too young to know what love, is among others.
Some people claim that young couples get married out of recklessness without really thinking of what they are getting into. For many that is not the case and it ends up being a discussion of great detail and length. My fiance and I actually talked about marriage and engagement about a year before the question was asked. We are one of those couples that believe that we do not need a piece of paper to prove our love and respect for one another, but we did know that with marriage came a lot of legal and financial advantages. For instance, if he were to be admitted into a hospital I wouldn't be able to see him or make decisions on his behalf because we are not legally bound, we would be able to save on health insurance and get a tax break, among other benefits. Sure, there might be some who do it for without being fully committed to the idea, but that makes up a small percentage of young married couples.
Some of my peers have tried to discouraged me from getting married by saying that I will miss out on many opportunities and on the best years of their life. In some instances, that may be true. Everyone in life will miss some opportunities, it happens. Sometimes that is a good thing, you pass up an opportunity but a better one comes along that you get to share with your significant other. For example, in high school, I used to be a 4.0 student, had friends who I had fun with and had a part time job. When I met Isaac, he told me about an early college entrance program and encouraged me to apply. I was accepted and was able to start college two years early. I passed up the opportunity to graduate with ease at a high school where the work didn't challenge me for a chance to get started early on the journey to earn my law degree. For those saying that I will waste the best years of my life- I don't consider continuing my studies and being with the person who has supported me wasting my time. In fact, I am beyond lucky to share those years with my significant other.
The argument used the most against young marriage is that people are too young to know what true love is and therefore should not be getting married. By that logic, children don't really love their parents because they are too young to know what love is. Sure familial love is different than romantic love, but there are some key similarities. In familial love you get the dependency, attachment, and security, but it is also thought as the love you are required to have for family- unconditional love. In romantic love the type of dependency, attachment, and security that we seek that is present in familial love is also present in romantic love; but unlike familial love, romantic love also includes attraction and lust among other feelings that separate the two. In romantic love, your significant other has no obligation to love you like a family member would, so it is immensely satisfying to know that you earned the love that is being given to you. We should not put limitations on any type of love because love is a profound personal experience different for everyone.
Earlier I mentioned that my engagement day was met by some negativity from multiple people. It upset me at first that such an important step in my life was being criticized so much, but then I realized that none of that mattered because I got the chance to be part of his life and him of mine. I love my fiance. Every night that I go to sleep next to Isaac I feel comfortable and secure knowing that he is by my side. His unwavering support makes me want to be the best that I can be and every time that I look into his eyes I know that he loves me as much as I love him. Individuals shouldn't criticize young couples for deciding to get married just because someone has their own different idea of how and when marriage should take place. Instead they should be celebrated for making such an important decision and let them live their lives as happy as they can.
