I talked about dating a transman, being engaged/planning a wedding and now I'm married to him. My second article talked about relearning about the person that I was in love with in What's It Like To Date A TransMan. I went on to talk about being engaged to my love. It was a whirlwind because we were battling societal norms mixed with traditional wedding stresses, but when you think about it wasn't worth my grey hairs. Weddings are sometimes the most stressful situation in a person's life.
To be honest, being married to a Transgender male isn't any different than if I married another human. Transgenders are human and experience the same things as biological genders. He is the same man that I fell in love with 3 years ago. When you fall in love with a transgender, you meet all of the sides of their personality all at once. Just like a "normal" person, they go through changes. When you marry someone, you marry all of their transitions. A person can be a way one year and be different the next. If you take marriage seriously, you will end up with "multiple spouses" in one body.
Marriage is what you put into it. You wouldn't expect to take out more money then you have in your checking account, so why would you take out more then you put into your marriage. During the last year, my husband and I put a lot of thought into our lives, and we went into this marriage knowing that we were going to have it rough the first couple of years. We aren't a traditional couple nor do we have a socially accepted beginning of marriage. Neither one of us has a college degree and we aren't stable financially, but we aren't going through the rough parts alone. There is a certain encouragement when you have your spouse to support and be your cheerleader during these times.
Growing up, I never thought I would get married. I thought that I was a weirdo for loving everyone as they are. Just a few years ago, I knew about Transgenders but I didn't know much about the topic. I knew that they are human and are going on a different journey than I am. If you would have told me back then that I would be married to my best friend who happens to be Transgender, I would have told you that you have a couple of nuts and bolts loose.
Marriage is different for everyone and being married to a transgender is an experience that I feel like no one should look down upon. I find that there is more love in someone who is going through a challenge of experiencing who they are then other biological sex relationships. There is a spark when you have someone to help you through the roller coaster of hormone therapy and the multiple surgeries that go into a transition. My husband and I's relationship isn't perfect because we still have some growing up to do but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world. He has made me a better person because of his journey.
