I Married My Best Friend Who Happens To Be Transgender.

I'm In Love With A Transgender, So I Married Him

It's not any different than being married to the love of your life.


I talked about dating a transman, being engaged/planning a wedding and now I'm married to him. My second article talked about relearning about the person that I was in love with in What's It Like To Date A TransMan. I went on to talk about being engaged to my love. It was a whirlwind because we were battling societal norms mixed with traditional wedding stresses, but when you think about it wasn't worth my grey hairs. Weddings are sometimes the most stressful situation in a person's life.

To be honest, being married to a Transgender male isn't any different than if I married another human. Transgenders are human and experience the same things as biological genders. He is the same man that I fell in love with 3 years ago. When you fall in love with a transgender, you meet all of the sides of their personality all at once. Just like a "normal" person, they go through changes. When you marry someone, you marry all of their transitions. A person can be a way one year and be different the next. If you take marriage seriously, you will end up with "multiple spouses" in one body.

Marriage is what you put into it. You wouldn't expect to take out more money then you have in your checking account, so why would you take out more then you put into your marriage. During the last year, my husband and I put a lot of thought into our lives, and we went into this marriage knowing that we were going to have it rough the first couple of years. We aren't a traditional couple nor do we have a socially accepted beginning of marriage. Neither one of us has a college degree and we aren't stable financially, but we aren't going through the rough parts alone. There is a certain encouragement when you have your spouse to support and be your cheerleader during these times.

Growing up, I never thought I would get married. I thought that I was a weirdo for loving everyone as they are. Just a few years ago, I knew about Transgenders but I didn't know much about the topic. I knew that they are human and are going on a different journey than I am. If you would have told me back then that I would be married to my best friend who happens to be Transgender, I would have told you that you have a couple of nuts and bolts loose.

Marriage is different for everyone and being married to a transgender is an experience that I feel like no one should look down upon. I find that there is more love in someone who is going through a challenge of experiencing who they are then other biological sex relationships. There is a spark when you have someone to help you through the roller coaster of hormone therapy and the multiple surgeries that go into a transition. My husband and I's relationship isn't perfect because we still have some growing up to do but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world. He has made me a better person because of his journey.

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Marriage Is No Longer Just About Love And, Frankly, It Sucks

Your whole life, you want a dream marriage with the love of your life. Then you become an adult and find out that's not quite how it's done anymore.


It definitely could be argued that it has never been solely about love. Way before any of us were even imagined, marriage was a pact between families. You gave one family your daughter in exchange for something, whatever that something may be. I'm sure love was still something you hoped for at that time, but it wasn't expected.

But c'mon! It's 2019 and everyone is always talking about love: love your neighbor, love your family, love everyone! Still, it seems to me that marriage has become just the thing you do when you don't know how else to further your relationship. But, why? To me, marriage should still be a commitment. Not a 'for now' commitment, a 'forever' commitment.

Marriage should be something you've planned because otherwise, you'll never get through the bad parts with your significant other. Instead, it has become something that is more romantic if it's spur of the moment. It might work once in a while, but nine times out of ten, planning something out will only positively affect the outcome, at least when it comes to marriage.

I do understand that it's really hard to make marriage just about love and commitment, though. So many societal, political and economic issues are tied to marriage. For many, love and commitment isn't enough. Maybe that's due to laws prohibiting their marriage or maybe it's due to policies that would put one or both people into poverty if they were to be married. Whatever the reason, it happens and it SUCKS.

I know marriage isn't a big deal to many, "It's just a label," is something you hear all the time about all different kinds of relationship statuses. For myself, and people like me who need validation that their significant other is committed to them, though, this label is one of the most important labels there is, at least when the time is right.

For us, marriage is saying, "Yes, I love you and I will continue to love you. I will not leave because you made a mistake or messed up. I will not leave because of whatever problems you're facing. I am here, no matter what. You can count on me." But it's not only people like me who want that commitment. Most people deep down want commitment, even if marriage isn't the form they want it in.

Also just as I want someone to commit to me in that way, I also want to commit to someone else in that way. When you promise to love someone forever and help them through whatever they may face, you feel more important in the world. You give more meaning to who you are and what you do. You are not only you, but you are someone who is important to another person.

I want marriage to be important again. I want it to mean something to the world. I want us to disregard religion, politics and anything else that has an influence on marriage. I want it to be just about two people who are in love, committing themselves to each other.

I want marriage to be what I once thought it was. I want it to be about sacrifice, commitment and all the other good and bad things you must go through.

Most importantly though, I want marriage to be about love. Without love, we would all be lost.

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What It Means To Be Non-Binary, From 5 People For Whom It Is A Reality

The future isn't binary.


Until college, I had never met anyone who did not identify with the gender they were given at birth. When I met my first friend who was non-binary, I had a lot of questions.

Not wanting to be disrespectful, I kept a lot of them to myself, but after reflection, I realized that I would rather ask questions and be informed in order to respect my friends.

Recently, when the topic of being non-binary has come up in conversation, I realized that a lot of people I know ignore it because they are confused by it. I find that completely ignorant. There is no excuse not to respect how your fellow humans identify.

I decided to write this article to spread awareness and help people understand what it means to be non-binary. I am not non-binary myself, but I have many friends who identify as non-binary. It is not a phase or a trend, and they are real people.

When you google "non-binary," this is what comes up:

Everyone expresses gender differently, so that is why I decided to interview a few of my friends in order to get a full understanding. Gender, just like sexuality, has no right or wrong answer. It is a spectrum.

A few of my friends have taken new names, which means that the name that was assigned to them at birth is now their "dead" name.

(Some of the interviewees are not publicly out, so I am writing under a fake name for them!)**

I hope this has given you a better understanding of what non-binary is. Just remember to be kind and respectful of one another.

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