There's always this illusion that the men and women in are military are perfect, skilled, warriors. They are the ones that got it right. They are the ones that have the discipline, the honor... but what if I told you that we are all not as indestructible as some might assume? What if I told you that we still deal with the same problems most of the people who aren't in the military deal with?
I left for Parris Island right after New Years. I spent three months of hell with around 60 other females and three very motivated Drill Instructors. I woke up at 0400 every morning, ran until I couldn't feel a muscle in my body, drilled until my fingers froze to my rifle, and trained for 70 days. As Marine Corps recruits we were taught to speak, act, walk, and even eat a certain way. Just like in the commercials, "I, we, us, me.." it wasn't a part of our vocabulary. It was "This recruit, that recruit, these recruits." Even when trying to ask a question we had to state it a certain way. "Good morning ma'am, Recruit *** requests permission to speak to Drill Instructor...****" (What do you want?) "Aye ma'am, good morning ma'am, this recruit requests knowledge on..."
You name it, there was probably a rule for it. Bathrooms are heads, beds are racks, the floor is the deck, a window is a porthole, port side is left and starboard side is right...We marched everywhere we went and if we weren't marching, we were running. Food is chow. Eating chow, chest to the table, feet flat on the deck at a 45 degree angle, right hand right knee, left hand left knee. You eat fast and you don't care how hot it is. Drill, don't you dare touch your face. Don't scratch. Don't do anything because you'll get cellulitis. It was almost as rare as a Caticorn...but hey, if the Drill Instructors said it, you do it. No questions asked.
You have ten days of leave...10 days to spend with whatever friends and family that haven't made plans already. You still wake up at 0400 because your body is set to boot camp still. You talk a little louder, you stand a little taller and hell, you might even call cadence when you walk in the mall. Some want the whole world to know that they are Marines so they'll wear EVERYTHING with an EGA - hell, they might even wear their dog tags outside their shirt. Please never do that...
And just when you're getting the hang of being your old self again...you're off to MCT. Back to that warrior mindset...back to being a Marine. That switch in the back of your head went from lazy and relaxed to disciplined and focused in a heartbeat.
You're excited to be around your Marines again. It feels good to be back in your woodlands and deserts. Your boots are a hell of a lot more comfortable then they were on the crucible. As a female, you finally mastered the perfect sock bun. As a male, shaving every morning isn't that much of a bother anymore and the high and tight is starting to grow on you.
You learn how to be a killer...how to keep yourself and your Marines alive. They are teaching your how to survive combat. You hear stories from your instructors - stories that they've lived through. The majority have seen major combat and the only thing you can think about is "how the hell am I going to be able to do that?"
By the end of MCT your feel like you're some unstoppable warrior. You're all good to go and ready to get deployed! But hold up... MOS school. For me, I chose Combat Engineer - so more warrior mindset, more weapons, more explosions. More stories of how if we mess up, we go boom. If that doesn't make you grow up quick...I don't know what will.
Cram all of these experiences into around 7 months...
Now you're ready to go back home. Ready to see your family who you haven't really talked to in forever because every time you say goodbye it gets more and more painful. You're ready to see your friends and hope to God that they understand that you're not completely the same person.
But here is where the trend happens. Something that happens with far too many Marines...we don't have friends to come home to. It's either there are fights, disagreements...or Marines choose to cut them off because it's easier that way. Sooner or later, all their friends, their only friends, are fellow Marines.
I mean yes, it is easier - you can be yourself around them without the fear of offending anyone because no one there gives a shit. You can curse my brain out, smoke, dip, drink and be an ass hat and no one cares because that's the culture that you all live in.
But you go home...to people who don't know, who haven't lived through it, who don't understand and it's a hole new ball game. The term "civilian" is seen as an insult when in your mind it's just someone who's not in the military or a police officer.
It's difficult as hell for you to listen to people's problems without thinking..."Why are you stressing about this?" Because through your experiences, you've found that there's more important things in life and really that worrying gets you no where.
This is where the wall comes up. The wall between civilian life and military life. This is where the fights start and you start losing your friends.
It gets to the point where you're weighing the options out. Option one: try to keep them by your side. I mean yeah they won't understand where you are or what you're going through but you don't want to leave them behind. But with that you have to face the reality that life isn't the same as it was when you left for boot camp. People aren't the same. YOU aren't the same.
So that brings us to option two: surround yourself with people your comfortable with. Your Marines. Yeah they can be ass holes but hey, they have never given you a reason to doubt their loyalty. The bond that was forged in the crucible makes you family. That EGA enables you both to make a promise to each other... that you will never leave each other behind.
Case and point...my friend in boot camp, easily my best friend. We got ITed together, we were made fun of by our Drill Instructor but we never really stopped being there for each other. Even now, we don't talk all the time, but we understand where the other person is. We're sisters. Misery loves company...
So put yourself in these shoes for a little while... what would you do? What would you choose? You've gone through way too much at this point to turn away and give it all up. You're finally at the point in your life where you can look yourself in the mirror and not hate who you see.
You know that you earned what you have 110%.
The transition is real and it hits us all in different ways. We might not like it, but there is a divide between military and civilian life and believe it or not, it's not all our fault...