Dudes: let’s get down to the basics. We all have to do it. Well, you don’t necessarily have to, but it is the 21st century and whether you care to admit it or not, you care about your appearance. And you also care about the things people cannot see with your clothes on.
If you haven’t guessed, I am talking about manscaping. We go to the gym, we take multiple showers per day, and we cut our hair so that is buzzed on the sides and ridiculously long on top. Why? You gotta do what you gotta do to stay with the times. It is not about getting dirty anymore -- it’s about staying clean.
Unless you have some retro '80s fetish, you manscape.”To define the term, I will turn to Google’s handy dictionary:
Manscaping. ˈmanˌskāpiNG/: the removal or trimming of hair on a man’s body for cosmetic effect.
It is, undoubtedly, one of the most significant hygienic activities men must do to feel confident and stay looking clean. You are not going to a bar to pick up a girl only to realize that you have not shaved down there in two weeks. That is not a thing anymore. You do not want to have a front yard mangled with weeds, and thorns and bushes all about. You want to have a front yard that you pay a gardener to take care of, full of manicured grass and fresh landscaping. Hopefully, you see where I am going with this.
To prove my theory that manscaping is just as important to women as it is to men, I asked a few random girls on campus what they thought about the subject. I simply asked them, “What do you think about manscaping?”
Girl 1: “OMG, if I’m about to hook up with a guy and he isn’t manscaped, it’s just not happening.”
Girl 2: “It’s kind of important. Guys judge us if our legs aren’t smooth or we don’t wax our bikini line, so they should be doing the same thing.”
Girl 3: “Honestly, they should be giving out free laser hair removal to every person on earth.”
Whether you shave Superman’s “S” on your chest, or get drunk enough to shave the Avatar arrow a little more south, we have all come to appreciate the art of manscaping. It keeps us looking good and feeling even better. You get better at it over time. Before you know it, you are a certified professional and everyone is talking about the fantastic lawn your front yard boasts.
